So I (34M) matched with a woman (50F) on a dating app. I had never dated anyone that much older than me. The conversation went well and decided on a time to go on a date. We met up and the date could not have gone better. We have amazing chemistry and she’s essentially everything I’m looking for in a partner. At least that’s what it feels like right now. We’ve only been on one date but I feel like I’ve known her for years.
I didn’t think the age difference would bother me, and in the moment I didn’t really think much about it. But the more I’ve thought about it, I can’t help but think that I would like to date someone closer to my age, maybe even a few years younger. I would like to find someone to start a family with. I just think that because she’s entering her fifties, she’s not really in the same place.
But where I’m torn is, I’ve never really felt this way about anyone. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel this way about anyone else. So I guess my question is do I continue to see her and give up my plan on starting a family? Or do I break it off with her and try to find someone my own age, which in all honesty could take years? I just feel so conflicted about this.
3 comments
>do I continue to see her and give up my plan on starting a family?
This isn’t a light decision you should make in a day or even in a month. This is a life changing question and if you’re at all unsure you should consider talking to a professional about it.
Aside from that, maybe you should see her just casually, limit how often you see her, and also be sure to continue dating people closer to your age who you might get a chance to start a family with in time.
As for this,
>I’ve never really felt this way about anyone. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel this way about anyone else.
I think a lot of people go through this after their first relationship ends or is coming to an end. Did you feel that then?
She is in a different stage of life than you. Let her go and find someone you can build a family with in the future.
I say this as a 56 year old woman. I would never even think of going out with a much younger man in a different stage of life. It’s not fair to the younger man especially if he wants children.
She is being selfish. Don’t be used. Good luck to you.
Are you ready to make kids SOON? Why not explore this with the 50yr old for a little longer, you might learn a lot about love, sex. – having these types of feelings about someone which could put you in a better place to find the woman you spend the rest of your life with. Bailing after an awesome date makes no sense. You don’t have to sign your life away with her. Chill and enjoy it and see what happens.