Yesterday I was supposed to go on a date with a guy that I have been texting with for the past couple of weeks. We made the plans very spontaneously and a few hours before the date he cancelled due to work. I was really excited to see him and couldn’t keep my cool when he cancelled, so all I responded was “Ok!”.
Thing is, he’s been a bit flaky before, taking days to respond sometimes, so my insecure ass is afraid that I’m his second choice. One day has passed and he has not asked to reschedule. He could obviously tell that I was a bit upset with the way I responded.
Did I screw up? Should I reach out? Or should I just let him go?
33 comments
You’re massively overthinking this.
The fact that he’s not rescheduled means he’s not that into you. Delete his number and move on.
sorry to break it to ya but if he was genuinely interested then he’d make more of an effort
It sounds like you are more emotionally involved than he is. It’s time for you to move on to someone as excited to spend time with you.
Girl just move on, this guy isn’t interested.
>One day has passed and he has not asked to reschedule.
If someone cancels and doesn’t reschedule immediately, they’re not interested. Delete the number and move on to someone who actually wants to spend time with you! 🙂
I don’t think he’s interested. Move on and you’ll find someone who is
The ball is in his court. He asked to reschedule so it’s on him to actually try and reschedule. If he doesn’t, then that let’s you know his interest level. You said he has been flaky before this. I would let him go. He will probably message you again in the future when his options are low. I wouldn’t entertain it, but that’s just me.
Its a possibility that he doesn’t make the first move because of the “Ok”. Idk how it comes over to other people but if someone texts me “Ok” I think they’re not interested or don’t want to talk to me
My rule of thumb is if a person cancels a date and doesn’t offer up another time or date, then I just move on. Maybe not the best advice but I just know that if I had to cancel a date the first words after would be to offer up another time or ask what their availability was.
Move on, as you continue to date you will learn to no take things so personally. Im assuming youre young and thats why you’re overthinking this. People have their preferences and thats okay.
He is just not that into you.
I had a guy do this twice. First time i rescheduled and he still cancelled the second time so i just blocked and moved on with life
You definitely deserve better than this, let him go and block his number. He’s not worth this stress
I’m just gonna say this…..you are dating people so there is a chance he’s seeing others as well and you are the 2nd choice, that’s just how it is. Don’t overthink it, if you want to go out with him then ask when he’s free next, if you don’t then leave it here
The person who cancels needs to make the plans to reschedule…you did nothing wrong!
Let him go baby…… baby bye bye bye…
I don’t see why you couldn’t send him another text. He might not respond but if he’s about to ghost you anyway you haven’t lost anything
YOU didn’t screw up- he did. I had a guy do this 15 minutes before the date (already had a babysitter and makeup on), and then he ghosted me until a month later. ✌️
You haven’t even met him yet. There’s nothing to worry about. Let him reach out to reschedule. Don’t text or contact him at all. It’s on him to come up with a new plan to meet and ask you. If he doesn’t text for a week block and move on.
There’s really no use getting this worked up about someone you’ve never even met. You may not even like each other in person at all.
The red flags you ignore in the beginning will be the reason you will break up someday
You haven’t had a date, and he’s flaky.
Why tolerate this for a second? People who are intentional about dating make plans and suggest fun activities.
Don’t date passive, wishy-washy people.
Let him go. You cannot ever be someone’s second choice. Been there, done that. It is not worth it. I promise. Something better will come up! <3
“If he wanted to he would”
“If they wanted to, they would”
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That sentence has helped me out a lot through my relationships with people.
My policy is if someone cancels, I don’t assume that they do or don’t want to reschedule. I don’t offer. I wait and see if they offer. That way I give them an out if they just don’t wanna go out, but if something really did just come up they can offer to reschedule.
He cancelled, so he can contact you. Please don’t overthink and contact him. If a guy is interested, he will let you know and make an effort to see you. Period.
You did the literal perfect thing. Don’t reach out, I know you want to bad. You’re worried you did something wrong and pushed him away but you didn’t. He just is this way and is likely not super interested and / or committed to dating and getting to know people. Might have someone else he’s seeing. I would just move on and not let this guy bread crumb you. Find someone who is excited to meet you and get to know you.
Let it go babes. If he wanted to make things happen with you he would. Let him come to you.
My personal rule is if someone flakes and doesn’t bother rescheduling then they’re not interested.
Move on save yourself a heartache
Contrary to belief, when a guy is seriously interested in you beyond a casual shag, he does make the effort and does chase after you. In this case given he hasn’t made an effort to reschedule he’s not interested in anything beyond easy sex. Of course he’ll get defensive and pretend otherwise if ever confronted about it.
Also men are babies with fragile male egos. You’ll find the moment you stop messaging him as much he’ll suddenly take an interest as he can’t bear the idea he’s not the center of the universe for all girls he flirts with.
Source: me being an asshole guy in my 20s
Yeah don’t reach out. I fell into this trap once and suggested we reschedule and then the guy was all apologetic and pretended he was super interested in the rescheduled date, and then ghosted me on that too!! I’m like why would he even go to the effort of ghosting me once and then doing it again. He could’ve just left me with the first silence and never looked back.
Know your worth Queen