men, what’s your opinion on friends dating your exes?

29 comments

1. If a friend dates my ex, he is now my former friend.

2. Friend latched on to my ex-wife while we were mid-divorce. See ya dude, no time for that in my life.

3. Depends on the timing, on how the breakup went and how far both parties have moved on.

   I have some exes where I’d immediately cut all contact to a friend if they starting dating her, and others where I wouldn’t care one bit.

4. If I jettisoned them – be my guest. If she jettisoned me – then I’d expect my friend to have my back. (you bitch – how dare you dump such an awesome dude!)

5. If he is up front about it I have no issues with it. If they sneak around behind my back and lie about it, I have an issue.

6. “I know most girl groups have and stand by the “no dating exes” rule.”

   My real life observations don’t confirm this.

7. I would say this is especially true with guys. No one in my friend group would tolerate one of my friends dating a friends ex.

8. Two different points: first, people have every right to date whoever they want. But then, there’s the reality of feelings/discomfort. If the girl and I had been “serious” – deep feelings for each other and dated a number of times – then in almost all cases, one of us is sadder than the other about the breakup. Whoever is that sadder person probably doesn’t want to keep seeing the other in their life. So yeah, they will be forced to dump their friend to keep their old flame and the painful reminder it brings them out of their life.

   My point: everyone has rights. My friend can date who they please… and I am allowed to drop friendships whenever I wish.

9. Generally, avoid dating exes.

   Shit gets awkward, even in the best scenarios. Most people don’t enjoy being around former partners. Not to say that it isn’t possible, there are certainly people that I know of that are on pleasant terms with former partners.

   But it definitely seems like the exception rather than the rule.

   If you absolutely must go through with it, then you’ll have to accept you won’t see your friend as much any more unless it is sans the partner.

10. If you fuck in circles, you will end up fucking yourself.

11. It’s weird as hell

12. My friend’s ex wanted to date me, but that was a huge no since it’d ruin our friendship and any social outings. She was crazy too, so that’s another reason.

13. It depends on the ex and why things ended. If we broke up amicably because we were headed different directions in our life or didn’t hit it off that well, feel free to date my ex. If I broke up with her because she’s horrible and you want to date her, that tells me you don’t trust me, not cool. If she broke up with me and I’m still hung up on her, pump the brakes, at the very least don’t try to date her immediately or behind my back.

14. I think some groups of friends are just like that guys and girls included and some aren’t.

    I’ve had friend groups where dating/fucking often just stays in the group and people kinda “take turns” so to speak.

    I’ve had some where this is not acceptable at all.

15. One of my best friends went through a rough break up and had it followed up by a roommate of his dating his ex, and it messed him up big time. After seeing how that affected him, as a rule I do not date exes of friends, nor do I date friends of exes

16. They definitely could .. they’re consenting adults. They just would not be my friends anymore.

17. That’s a no-go zone IMO

18. That’s bro code rule 1

19. I kinda find it a “do you want to date them more than you want that friendship” equation. No matter what anybody says it’s going to have an impact on the friendship and it’s going to be awkward whenever all of you are around each other meaning you probably won’t be together much.

    It’s just a bad idea unless you weren’t great friends before and are ok losing that friendship in exchange for exploring the relationship.

20. I’m not the “be friends after we break” up type so if a friend decides to date my ex that’s fine, we just won’t be spending much time together going forward.

21. The golden rule is:

    > If your friend would feel bad about it don’t do it. If you know they won’t then you can ask.

    This is followed by the silver rule

    > If you’re close enough, you’ll be able to tell who’s game and who isn’t. If there’s a sliver of doubt, then they are not game.

22. I cut ties completely with ex’s. Something painfully learned. If a friend dated someone while knowing they were my ex, aid cut ties with that friend.

23. Just found out a friend has been dating my ex for six months. Whole friend circle knew. Thing is, ex is abusive. Tried to warn friend off and now I’m the asshole. Was a good clean sweep to find out who my true friends are.

24. I’d hope that my friends respect me enough that they wouldn’t even go that route.

25. I would never.

26. no longer friends

27. Even if they say its ok, they don’t actually believe that it is.

28. Generally, it’s a no no.

29. Fuck no.