So my husband and I (m30&f34) met 12 years ago (it was July long 12 years ago). We met at a friends house party, both got drunk and needed to spend the night. We spent the night together and had sex. At the time I figured it would be a one night stand. We ended up meeting again the next week and doing it again, but at that time exchanged phone numbers and started dating.
A few months after we met we were talking about our sexual pasts, I told him he was my 7th (true) he told me I was his 3rd. I never thought much about it after that.
A few weeks ago he made an off handed comment about me being his first. I thought he was joking and later that night asked him about it. He admitted he lied back then when we were talking because he didn’t want me to think he was a loser. I get why he lied then, and really I can’t think of a time when bringing it up would have happened organically.
And while I’m not upset with him, I wish I knew back then. Current me would loved to have made it special? Some how? That sounds lame. I’m not 100% sure what 22 year old me would do. And maybe that’s why he lied.
Anyways, I wish I had known. Not 100% what the purpose of this post is. If anything similar has happened to you, maybe share? If you’re comfortable?
7 comments
It was special all right. Dude never left.
My wife was either my 1st or my 3rd, depending on how you count it. She was certainly the first I had regular sex with. She still doesn’t know. We’ve been together since 1998.
She assumes that my college girlfriend and I had sex, which I wanted, but we only kissed regularly. I have told my wife it was more of a close friendship.
My wife is the first I have had regular, really good sex with. Does that count?
Don’t discuss previous partners, and don’t keep score.
Crazy but… had you known that, might you have avoided him?
My wife was WAY more experienced than me. I tried to slow things down when we were dating, but after about a month, I knew if I didn’t have sex, she might move on. She was accustomed to a sexual relationship; I was not. Sadly, 20 year old her would have left me if we hadn’t moved the relationship forward. So happy we consummated the relationship… 3 years later we married.
Not a comfortable topic of discussion, but we have briefly touched on it. For whatever reason I was pretty good at finding girls to fool around with a bit, going back to soft. yr HS, but they always wanted to stop just short of PIV. I was always VERY respectful. To a fault.
My wife was truly my 4th / PIV. She was married before / divorced and I was her 10th. She was the 1st, longterm sexual relationship I had. I was her 2nd. YMMV.
My wife was my first.
The pressure to lie about it was actually reversed for us though.
We met in a dating environment where it was reasonable to assume the people you met were virgins. She told me a couple months in that she wasn’t. Incredibly hard for her to do as it was clear we were moving toward marriage & she had reason to believe it could be a dealbreaker.
Glad I didn’t let it bother me. I’d have missed out on an incredible woman.
It was definitely special for him as he not only came back to you but stayed for the long run. I love hearing happy stories, enjoy your life together.