So last week my gf(24) that I’ve been with two years threw a party for her birthday. During the party we passed around a money pool to gift her, bc she wants to buy a camera (she’s really into photography). When we gave it to her some of us noticed there was way less money in the pot than we expected, but we didn’t mention it because we didn’t want to create tension.
But two days ago, when he was wasted, my best friend (m32) that i met 15 years ago confessed he stole 200€ from the pot. He’s really deep in shit, he needs money, and I think he needs those 200€ way more than her. I don’t know how to react, should I tell my girlfriend about what happened? Should I ask him for the money to give it back without mentioning where it comes from? Should I cut him off bc of this even tho what he did is understandable ? I’m unsure what to do…
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TLDR; my best friend stole 200€ from the money pot we gifted my girlfriend, but he really needs it.
24 comments
He’s been your best friend for 15 years and didn’t tell you he needed the money until after he took it? How will your gf react if she hears it from him the next time he’s drunk around her and let’s it slip that you’ve known about it? This doesn’t sit right with me. You need to both tell your gf what happened, and talk to your friend about making it right.
Yes, you should absolutely ask for the money back. He doesn’t get to take other people’s money, whether he “deserves it more” or not. It wasn’t given to him, it was given to your gf. He is a thief.
Give him 2 days to give it back. If he doesn’t, tell your gf. Decide together what the next step is.
Are you seriously considering just letting him steal like that? This won’t be the last time.
What he did is not understandable. He stole a significant amount of money from a pool for your girlfriend, who is presumably one of his friends, and didn’t say anything to anyone until roughly a week had passed. What he did was wrong and he should face consequences for it, whether those are being called out to the group, made to pay it back, outed to your girlfriend, or kicked out of the friend group.
What he did is completely not okay. He’s 32 years old- he has to get ahold of his own life and finances. He shouldn’t be repeatedly asking friends for money like you said in a comment, or stealing it.
My god, I have chronic illnesses which have made me unable to work at certain points in my life and I’ve never stolen money. If I were you I’d seriously reconsider this friendship. Your friend has alot of growing up to do and doesn’t seem to mind taking advantage of others.
There’s nothing understandable about stealing from your friends. If you want to help your friend, do it, but don’t excuse him stealing from your girlfriend and everyone else. He did a scummy, shitty thing and deserves consequences.
This isn’t ok. You need to tell your gf. And your so called friend needs to return the money.
You’re enabling him and your gf will not forgive you.
Your friend is in a bad spot, but that’s no excuse to steal! Not understandable!
He’s in debt to all his friends? Sounds like a drug issue, but if you’re going to be a true friend, get him actual help, not money!
Your friend has already borrowed all they can from your group and is now stealing from people.
Why do you refer to them as your best friend still? They obviously don’t value their friends.
So your homie stole from your gf and you’re alright with that? Because if I was her and I found out I would break up with you on the spot. Then I call the cops on your best friend for stealing what was rightfully mine. It doesn’t matter he’s on hard times it isn’t right to steal. You need to tell your gf and your best friend needs to make things right before karma comes back harder on him.
Confused as to how stealing money other people gave as a gift to someone else is “understandable”?
Your “best friend” is about to steal your whole life if your girlfriend finds out and you continue to keep enabling him. Sometimes people need the consequences of their actions. He’s going to continue to *use* you if you allow this. He will always undermine you, steal from you (and apparently the people you love) until you have nothing left to give. It’s time for the tough love.
That would be so unfair to your girlfriend if you don’t tell her. He’s asked all of you for support, and when he cant get it anymore he steals from your girlfriend on her birthday?
It’s understandable to need money, but what isn’t understandable is to get it through disrespecting your girlfriend. I think it’s very clear that you have to cut him off. She was kind enough to extend the invite, but now she’s lost 200€?
He doesn’t sound like a good friend to have. If your gf finds out without you fixing this now, you may lose her as you would essentially be choosing your thieving friend over her.
I guess you have to talk to him more about it. If it’s a life or death situation, or he becomes homeless if he wouldn’t have stolen it or something like this… Support him if you think he’s actually a good person.
If not, fuck him.
So your BEST FRIEND is a thief.
Congrats on THAT achievement.
This is all bullshit. I guess YOU replace the money and then hold him accountable.
Best friend a thief? SMH. You know what to do
You tell all your friends and gf what he did as it was their money he stole, which means your gf got less, so he stole from her too. I would tell him you’re done with his friendship and that you want him out of your life. Stop enabling him.
Bros before hoes
He also stole it from everyone gifting to her.
He needs to pay it back ASAP, even if it puts him in hardship.
Tell your girlfriend, what kinda question is this? Hes 32, doesnt need to be stealing from a 24 year old on her birthday.
If I was your girlfriend and found out you knew he stole from her birthday money, I would dump you so fast.
You are the company you keep.
He wasn’t entitled to any of that money, what he did was not at all okay.
You should’ve called the cops on him right then and there, and then helped him to his feet a few times since he was so drunk he was repeatedly falling face first into the pavement. What kind of weak willed punk ass boyfriend are you that you let your friend steal from your lady? You should be ashamed of yourself.
So because your friend is careless with money (you admit he owes basically everyone in your friend group) your gf deserves to be stolen ? Doesn’t matter “if he needs it more” neither one of you get to decide that! Neither one of you gets to decide that he shouldn’t suffer consequences for his actions, that’s up to the scorned. You would be a TERRIBLE boyfriend, and if she finds out, oh boy, you’d be lucky if she forgave you.
What he did is not “understandable” and you are a bad partner for even thinking that. He stole. He stole from your girlfriend. He stole your girlfriend’s birthday money.
Drop this loser and tell your girlfriend the truth.