Im not sure if this is the right place to post this, but i just cannot find people with the same experience on the internet.
Im a 20 year old female and i have not (as far as i can remember) experienced any SA or anything like that.
However, whenever some sexual tension or intimacy happens, for example: someone trying to kiss me or touch me or telling me what they would do to me, over text or irl, i get extremly anxious and it usually leads to me freezing up completly and getting a panic attack and bawling my eyes out…
I also have a condition called Vaginismus, so that might also contribute to my huge anxiety around sex.
But here is the weird part?
I want to have those dirty conversations and i actually tease men to the point where they start getting aroused. And that arouses me too.
But then out of pretty much nowhere. Boom. Frozen solid.
Panic attack.
Crying.
And it just kills the mood and their interest in me. :/
I feel rly bad for the men that have to go through this with me being like this.
I really need advice.
Please.
4 comments
Is it that you’re nervous as to what will happen next?
Sometimes I get this way too. I’ll get anxiety, specifically if he sucks my nipples for too long, and sometimes if it lasts for too long I’ll start crying out of nowhere and afterwards too. I have no idea why I do it, but you’re not alone. I wish I knew how to help. Don’t blame yourself or feel bad for the men, it’s not your fault. I think maybe it’s just that sex can be a very powerful thing both physically and emotionally, and we’re also very vulnerable during sex.
Don’t wanna be insensitive babes but are you sure that it’s not just the person you are with?
I have met someone like this, the first time we met for sex she had a panic attack so we stopped and I held her as she shook and cried for several minutes. Once she had calmed down I reassured her everything was fine and we didn’t have to do anything further but she insisted. We enjoyed the remainder of our time together and she was fine when we parted. Her panic attack was related to past trauma, but my point is to find someone willing to take it slow with you and make them aware of what you have going on. Go as fast or slow as you are comfortable with and I am sure you will eventually become comfortable enough. Hopefully.