Need to commiserate? Get it off your chest! We know dating can be frustrating and this is the place to talk about it.

22 comments

  2. I fear for my relationship. I love him very much and I feel very loved by him, but our respective traumas have resulted in a few less than fun times in the second half of the relationship so far.
    Next month is the 1 year mark, and we are planning an anniversary trip but something lingering has me feeling a little apprehensive about our future.

    I love him dearly, he is the sweetest man, and I am so very afraid of losing what we have, though I wonder if that is what we may need.

  3. So bit of a rant: I’ve been dating this guy for about a month, seeing each other twice a week and texting every day. He has told me he is looking for a relationship and really likes me; I’ve told him the same. Earlier today I notice he updated his photos on the dating app, which makes me feel like he’s still looking for something better/else. We haven’t discussed expectations and I do feel like discussing exclusivity after a month could be early, but at the same time in my view, if you are going on date 7 or 8 with me while actively looking for other dates you are not actually interested in me and are wasting my time. (Of course that’s assuming other first dates are happening but if you are active on an app…c’mon.) I mean is this normal these days? I’m about ready to give up on OLD if so lol.

  4. I’m(31/F) thinking asking out a coworker(37/M) at a company party Friday and i’m scared shitless. (Quick side note, my company is 500+ people and majority of everybody is wfh still while I’m in office due to being essential. This coworker works in a different dept that rarely interacts so I’m not worry about it affecting my job)

    We’ve been talking on n off for some months now (via instagram dm) but we’ve only seen each other twice this year at work events. No attraction or let’s pursue something language has been stated. (We used to talk a bit more in office before the spicy flu happened) I really like him and that terrifies me. i tried kinda asking him out one point but it wasn’t direct. I also thought he was dating other people (no gf but dating around ) but it’s wasn’t the case.

    We’ve been talking a lot recently and I think this event may actually make or break event or if I want to pursue or not. I’m very shygoing and I get nervous even thinking about asking but….. he makes me smile. We talk about food, tv,anime all the time and he’s really cute.

    This work event is a movie night but obviously I ask him in private if I take the shot. i’ve told a couple of friends about this and even I don’t share my full feelings with these friends cause i’m scared a little bit. I dont mess around and have casual sex cause I need feelings to fuck and need to be in a monogamous relationship for that.

    …… I know i’ll be fine whether he likes me or rejects me. I hope he likes me.

    Thank you for letting me vent and letting me sound like a teenage from high school.

  5. My ex just reached out to me. I’m dating someone new who I like a lot, but he isn’t ready to commit to anything. Ufff.

  6. when people only talk about themselves and only hit you up to tell you a story about their life, never ask how you are…but they are goodlooking so i guess that’s how they have gotten on in life? i dunno, i’m also trying to be understanding to the fact that a lot of men aren’t great at communication, but damn son did yr Mom worship you or something?

    that is end rant.

  7. Between school, COVID, and really damaging relationship, it’s been almost five years since I’ve really dated. At this point I’ve effectively given up, and until I get my shit figured out I don’t see that changing. A few intermittent flings are the only thing to speak of and are the only thing keeping me from permanently throwing in the towel.

    After being a frontline healthcare worker, I don’t want to deal with people or society as a whole. My friends keep nudging me to meet their single friends. Family asks why I’m not getting out there. The fact is that the juice isn’t worth the squeeze and I just don’t feel like playing a game that I know I’m going to lose.

    Curious if anyone else can relate.

  8. As much as I still want to meet someone and hope that it leads to marriage. I’ve realized i’m ok if that doesn’t happen. I can still have a happier life and be fulfilled with other things. I also feel i’m old and very stuck in my ways too haha :- )

  9. Going to go from red hair to brunette tomorrow. Feel like I’ve been a redhead for the better part of 8 years now and I’m ready for a change.

    Have a date with a guy tomorrow. Not sure what to expect, guess we will see.

    Supporting another friend through a recent break up. He’s an incredibly good human, everyone calls him gentle hearted and I want to see him happy. I know he’ll be okay, he wants to go on a no-dating cleanse for 6 months and I’m so supportive of this. Don’t know his exe at all- she’s been social media stalking me. Not really that interested, don’t see them getting back together anytime soon. He dated both of us at the same time but I broke it off with him last year to focus on my own no dating cleanse. It feels weird coming from the other side as his strictly platonic friend and I’m happy it turned out this way.

    All in all, my priorities are shifting a bit. Of course I desire a life partner but I’m done wasting any more energy on this potential and I’m focusing more on creating a nest for the next 2.5 years as I really plan being a single mother by choice. If someone wants to join this ship, so be it but I will not wait around anymore.

  10. I just sank a month into texting with a man who was allegedly too busy to go on a date until this weekend. We were texting consistently, getting to know one another, sharing about our lives, being vulnerable. I found something out that revealed his lack of emotional availability that if I’d kept my eyes open for, I would have seen and believed when it first showed itself. He then confirmed it when I discussed it with him. It dawned on me now that he was probably inconsistent in the beginning because he was juggling his roster.

    I feel so stupid for thinking he was different. For thinking I was different. I feel so stupid for falling for his “I’m looking for my person” act. And I am so tired of people weaponizing their trauma as an excuse to keep others at emotional arm’s length, as if that does anything but become a self-fulfilling prophecy that keeps people alone and sad. (His excuse was, “My last ex cheated on me before I could propose to her like I planned.” That’s terrible, but I told him in no uncertain terms that I’m not his ex and that had nothing to do with me.)

  11. ever try to get over someone who rejected you, but then they keep coming back when you try to move on? i don’t get it, and i don’t like it.

    i gave her three chances already and she didn’t want a relationship and denied any feelings. as soon as i feel ok without her, it’s all hearts and attention.

    just quit hurting me already

  13. Someone i thought being a friend really didn’t care about me cuz he was just focus on feeling better with himself after a breakup…

    It sucks cuz i support him a lot emotionally I really did care for him as a person, like, what was better for him, what could hurt him, etc, and the fact that, he had so many moments to think about how his actions would affect me emotionally but decided to keep with his ego game cuz he needed female validation… Hurts so much

    And it’s not like i was thinking in him as the perfect match or anything like that, not at all. But the fact that i gave him so many opportunities to back off the “microwave” game, to pause one moment and think if he really meant what he said, and he said he does… But in th end confirm he didn’t. It hurted my trust wound so much. I already had some trust issues but have been working on them over the last years, and the realization that i couldnt trust someone that i though was a good friend would care enough for me to think if what he’s doing it’s gonna affect me at long term… That reopen the wound. It really sucks man.

    It’s not like i meet him yesterday, we have know for quite a few years and i called him my good friend cuz i thought that he could care for me as i was doing with him. Only thing I’m thinking after remembering all the times/opportunities i give him for him to same something that later proved the opposite it’s… Why are people so selfish?… Makes me think that… How can I trust someone new i will meet if my supposed good friend said he wanted the best for me but didn’t care to make me part of his “boosting ego after my breakup” game for so long with so many chance for him to stop…

    I feel like i just went back with my trust issues. Hurts a lot to lose that friendship cuz i cannot trust someone like that again… Wish he would have care to cherish me more so i wouldn’t be the one hurting like that now.

  15. I haven’t dated since my relationship with my abuser ended almost a year ago, but I want this new guy friend to ask me out terribly. I wasn’t sure I would ever like someone again and here I am… but I’m not 100% sure he likes me as more than a friend. That uncertainty and my past makes all of this very scary. I wonder if I will ever not be scared.

  16. Need advice:
    New relationship (wlw).
    Just met her (straight) best friend who was catty, cold and dismissive of me the entire night.

    Separately she told my partner she thought we were “jumping into a relationship too quickly”(completely untrue, we’ve been taking it incredibly slowly, haven’t slept together or DTR yet.) and also it was “too soon” to introduce me to her (since when is there a timeline for meeting friends, but also we’ve been hanging out for months now, I was actually surprised I hadnt met her sooner).

    Seems like the bff is jealous and/or possessive, and partner seems to buy her BS. I’m worried about the tainted advice bff is going to give partner about me, when she seems to just want her to remain single.

    Not sure how to address it with new partner, and/or the bff next time we meet.

  17. Need advice : Been seeing someone for a few months now. As time passes by, can’t help but to feel that we are both emotionally drifting apart.
    Commitment is missing. Maybe it’s too soon for that. But I think there are some basics for a relationship. We lack that for the most part. We are more of friends than S/O’s.
    What should I do?

  18. How many of you multi-date? I can see scheduling a couple of first dates at the same, but feel that once things progress past date 2/3, it seems wrong to dangle multiple people on the hook. I’d like to think I’m decent at pre-selecting as I’ve only had serious relationships in my life (3/5/7 years) with going on just one other disaster-date in between. Saying that I’m a bit out of the game is probably a huge understatement. Is that mentality a bit old school nowadays as far as what I should be expecting to be reciprocated?

  19. Got a second date tomorrow with someone I really clicked with. She’s the second woman I’ve gone on dates with this year that is a “Hell yeah!” so I’m a little excited.

    This is usually the date where I ask what a woman is looking for (in broad strokes, at least) so my fingers are crossed that it’s a long-term, monogamous relationship. Also the first time in a while seeing someone who didn’t fill in the “has / wants kids” settings, so hopefully she’s child-free since that’s one of my deal-breakers. It didn’t come up in conversation, but I’m not sure if that’s something single moms mention on the first date?

  20. 31 f here. I’m so fucking tired of everyone telling me I’m beautiful, kind and compassionate only for me to remain single or with the most toxic motherfuckers on the planet. I wish I knew what it was. There has to be something wrong with me. I figured it might be my body so I decided to get surgery done. I am never viewed as anything more than a sexual conquest. I’m never a romantic interest, in spite of me being a wildly romantic person with a strong desire for commitment and kids. It’s so frustrating. I’m so tired. And I’m the farthest thing from sexually promiscuous too, so I don’t even know where that comes from. I only receive offers of sex and friendship. No clue why.

  21. How do I go on a date?

    In general. Like, how do I find someone to date, how do I go on a date, how do I…Anything?!

    29M, I like to think of myself as interesting, I’m a scientist, I’m in shape, 6’1, my sister and my mom keep badgering me about the fact that I haven’t had a gf.

    I’ve asked girls out before, I’ve done the tinder thing, I’ve gotten new clothes, new haircut, hit the gym, I don’t even know what to fix anymore. Fuck man, I’ve been trying to figure it out for 11+ years.

    I have friends that have shittier jobs, shittier lives, and just all around look worse than me that seem to have no trouble landing a GF (usually multiple, back to back or at the same time) but I cannot. They even try to help me, but apart from a guy that literally offered me one of his FWB for a quick fuck (ew), there is no interest.

    What the hell do I do? What is the next step? I’ve taken breaks, I’ve tried being friends, I’ve tried meeting people through friends, cold approach, going to bars, house parties, internally everything I can think of.

    I take every opportunity to socialize. Most people think of me as the life of the party, and I make a routine effort to include everybody. I don’t much like it, I’m not normally a social person, but I’ve become the guy that hosts parties every weekend to try to meet girls.

    Sometimes I wish I was a eunuch.

  22. Dry spells for so long (no match no nothing). Finally met a guy. He’s cute, I liked first date. HOWEVER, communication I think will be the end of this one. He doesn’t ask me many questions, doesn’t engage me or try to learn about me on a more profound level, while I’m learning all about him. I def want to see him again, but prospect is not good. Not sure we can even make it to second date.

    One guy I dated a couple months back popped back up. We actually had a back and forth convo today 😱. It feels nice even though it’s meaningless.

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