So I’ve noticed that if a girl takes too long to respond to a text 12-24 hours and if go & unmatch them from the dating App then they would immediately text my phonr in the next 5-10 minutes. Happens more than I care to admit and kinda debunks people saying they are never on the apps or didn’t see your message.
**Edit**: because it so concerning that too many people think a man can’t have standards and reject a woman. I am unmatching because I’m moving on. It is upto them if their ego gets hurt and decides to message me back. Not everything is about playing mind games. Just straight forward.
44 comments
I don’t get it if you unmatch them how are they able to text you back?
Majority of people are on their phone or have it close to them for most of the day. Only exceptions are if they can’t use their phone at work… Obviously the more they like you, the more frequent the response… Sounds like these girls just weren’t into you that much but wanted to keep you around as an option just in case
I dont believe it texts them saying you’ve unmatched them. This seems like a coincidence.
People are more active on the apps than they care to admit and they see you’ve unmatched is what I’m saying
This is confusing, please explain how they have your number to text you when you send a single message then unmatch them after no response. Are you putting your number in your first message, or is this a made up story?
I’m betting on the latter.
People generally don’t like being the ones rejected. They want to always feel like the winner. So when you unmatch them, it’s like a rejection, that’s when they come running to you.
People are simple
Lol this seems sus …as a woman I have so many matches and messages in the app I wouldn’t even notice if you unmatched me
Dealing with this now. Still blows my mind people will send a like and then after you match show minimum interest.
Each to their own but personally I thinks nasty lol
Sounds like someone too emotionally immature to date. And if you’re playing games, you probably are too.
Some people are actually busy and don’t regularly check the app. When I had the app I had notifications turned off and would check it whenever I had time. Sometimes I’d forget to check it. But most the guys I matched with never responded lol… 😅
So… you speak to someone long enough to get their number, and you get upset when they don’t constantly message you back. So you pull a petty little game to try and ‘catch them out’. Man, people have lives and are not obligated to constantly be at your beck and call. Walking red flag
I have to agree with some of the other posters… I have a busy job and a busy lifestyle. I don’t have my phone attached to me and checking the apps like a crazy person all hours of the day. I’ve also never unmatched or unfriended anybody. If they do than that’s cool but I don’t even know they do it half the time. There is no notification that somebody unfriended you or unmatched you. And that says more about them than me.
Most of the time, i’ll respond at the end of the day or as soon as I get the message, but I have a lot of guys I freak out if I don’t respond right away, especially when I’m at work and I work in the hospital so I don’t get enough time to get water, let alone respond to a stranger about dating. This is why talking multiple people at time does not work for many people because it’s hard enough.
There’s no rule that says that somebody has to respond within 12 to 24 hours if you’re just starting to talk to them. And there’s many guys that don’t respond until after the 24 hours either.
I think it’s more concerning that your paying so much attention to strangers activities and taking things personal and creating an idea that doesn’t really exist. It says more about their behavior And honestly, conversation works two ways and it could be just you weren’t their style communicating. at the end of the day it’s online dating. Nobody owes you anything and there’s no rules about how quick somebody should or shouldn’t respond, especially if they’re living life instead of being attached to their phones.
I never said I was unmatching because I was playing games. I’m moving on. It is upto them if their ego gets hurt and decides to message me.
Interesting……
I would at least allow 36-48hrs. People can be busy for a day and then finally get back to you. I get where you’re coming from, but it seems you could be jumping the gun a little bit. It basically burns a bridge based on assumptions. Your assumptions could be true, but is it really worth potentially just tossing an opportunity away?
How do they respond to the unmatching?
I’ve had some get pissed off about it and never hear back after they complain. (bullet dodged, I assume…)
As a woman, I’ve unmatched guys without giving my number because I just wasn’t feeling it. And guess what? They found me on Facebook or LinkedIn to ask why. They found based on my first name and location only. Wtf.
Maybe you are unmatching them too quickly? 12-24 hours isn’t a terribly long time. I’m busy during the day, and when I do have time to myself I sometimes I like to read a text a couple times, smile because it’s fun to have a message waiting there in my inbox… and then I think about how I might respond. And sometimes the day goes by and I’m like “oh yea I didn’t respond to that text yet.” But I can still be excited about them. Just have a phone call or meet up for a date if you want to talk in real time.
Yessir! I love this. Set your standards and keep ‘em.
This post is sus. The app doesn’t notify you if someone unmatches, and there are way too many convos to notice if one unmatched
I got a notification from Tinder that I had a new match. Checked 5 minutes later and it’s gone. ?????
Don’t they get a notification that they were unmatched? Might just act as a reminder that they still need to text you back.
Alot of people I respond to right away get mad if I have to do dishes or laundry. Even used profanity dating is hard , don’t be that person. Until you meet in person and get a connection. Then I would be mad if all of a sudden ghosted
W O R D ! ! ! !
I mean sure. I don’t think not responding to a message in 12 hours is worth unmatching over. I’ve worked 12 hour shifts when I can’t be on my phone. I also just try not to be on my phone a lot, so if I’m out with friends all day or something I”ll keep my phone up.
24 hours is a bit much though.
This seem more petty then a power move, cause you exchange number. That’s like unfollowing on IG or Facebook .
Rejection breeds obsession. And girls aren’t used to getting rejected by men
I unmatched a guy who hadn’t responded to my DM in ~4 days (and he had my phone number at that point), and he immediately texted me like he was actually more interested in me than he was letting off. I took a moment to think about why I unmatched him (I was feeling particularly insecure that week), then gave him another shot.
I’m glad I did because he opened up about his internal struggles about a week later, and I found that they were nearly identical to my own baggage. Now, I have a good friend who actually, truly understands what it’s like to live in my head.
It feels good to be seen, and to feel like I can take care of someone who’s like me in that regard. We’re just FWBs, but friends nonetheless.😊
Its very ape like tbh
Okay so this is an easy answer… it’s a numbers game.
We have created a bad habit of “speed swiping”, where both parties swipe indiscriminately to maximize match quantity, or one party swipes indiscriminately to maximize match quantity, which incentivizes the opposing party to swipe more discriminately in order to maximize match quality, since they’re likely to get the match either way.
Now, as it happened, due to a bit of luck and a lot of bad societal norms we ended up with the third case, where guys swipe indiscriminately and women can swipe with an eye towards quality as a result.
However, obviously men aren’t going to want every match they potentially get, and so instead, the decision on whether or not to message a match becomes their version of a right swipe instead. This ends up sucking for everyone.
It’s literally about maximizing chances, and then they decide later, and both men and women do this. Or else… you would get no matches at all.
I feel like the most adult thing to do is to block their number AND unmatch. Like… I don’t see the point in terminating one line of communication while keeping the other open. Is it just me?? 🤷🏻♀️
I work a pretty hectic job and even I find the time to respond to all of my messages. Nowadays people have their phones on them 24/7. If they can’t find 30 seconds to type one sentence while they’re pooping, they’re not worth your time
If you’re using the app for casual fun- yeah sure great tip. But as a woman who met her current boyfriend there, just letting you know that I would never text a guy who unmatches me. Reason? First, it’s disrespectful. Second, I would assume you’re not interested and thus, it’s fair to respect your boundaries. Third, It’s a dating app and as a woman I have lot more options than a guy. Why waste time on one that didn’t have the patience to wait for my reply?
People do not like rejection at all.
I found that with mt ex. If I rejected him, he would go mental, trying to get the last word, for me to take him back so then he could reject me in the long run.
But he could turn down plans, or say he didn’t want to see me and it was fine.
He was toxic. Dont play into it if they can’t handle the rejection from the beginning. You’re allowed to reject who you want, and any plans you want.
LMAO , yo I completely agree. “ I also hate the excuse of “ I am too busy to respond”
I’m someone who need weeks if not months sometimes to text someone back, but mostly because I exchange messages/memos which need one to multiple hours to respond.
You’re not that interested in a person if you can’t take 10 seconds to respond.
(53M) If I get no response after 3 days then I unmatch. I have a pretty busy job and don’t always message back straight away but if I’m interested it will always be within the same day or the next morning.
Had this happen recently after the conversation was really flowing and then just stopped.
Lack of effort = not interested.
I would say a 12-hour cut-off point is quite extreme, but you do you. I think it’s perfectly normal for most people to delay a response by half a day. I usually do a follow-up message in the 24-48h range, and only unmatch in another 24-48h.
Awwwwii
wait, being ignored loses your interest?
and you unmatch when you lose interest?
this is so very confusing and offensive!
/sarcasm.
you go brother.
Here’s my new rule for matches. 3 days. I know a lot of people especially women who are hurting if you’re living in a country like the US or you have friends/family that are caught in the Ukraine mess (fuck Putin) or with everything else going on…. I feel like it’s important to be compassionate and slightly understanding. And I don’t blame women in the US for being upset with men. But please don’t view us all as shitty pro life assholes. I’m 100% in this fight for women, LGTBQ, POC and to fight for other people’s rights even if I am a white cis male. I think it’s important to recognize that we have it much easier than most and can use that for good…
Anyways…
I don’t expect an immediate response on these apps after a match or any response but I absolutely can’t stand when people ghost me. Like just tell me you’re not interested or it won’t work. I don’t expect strangers to give me full reasoning nor should they but the dating climate on apps is the worst I have ever seen since the height of the pandemic. And I get it, people are mentally drained so I think giving people time to respond or message is fine and insert why people only give 24 hours but I think people need to not use these apps if they are going to lead someone one or message them for weeks then ghost them. Wishful thinking but that’s the main reason I prefer Bumble over Tinder imho.
Tinder is such a hit or miss and I get more likes but WAY less responses or actual conversations.
Just my opinion and view though.
Yikes… 12-24 hours? Do you know how many matches and messages a girl gets? Give her a couple days before getting all dramatic.