We have been dating since 2021 January, we had a great time together but there have been a lot of ups and downs ( i think its mostly her fault, she would text guys that i would ask her no to, she would make new online friends every day and those same guys would even talk bad about me, but blocking them would be too rude\^\^)
I’m the type of guy that always need to show love, else i’m not good, and as far as i remember i told her every single day since the day we met that i love her and that she looks cute and pretty.
Lately we would call and she would ask me to have a conversation instead of watching movies or series, so i would say ok i like it, after that, she would disappear, never heard her again for the next hours, just hear the typing sound on the phone screen and whenever i would ask her what she was doing, she would say “nothing” or “im using the phone” …
During those times where she would be “absent” i would ask her questions about her days, what did she bought when she went shopping, what did she think about the movie she watched at the cinema, but all of those questions, would end up in a one word reply that wouldnt even mean anything , for example:
Me:”What did the movie you watch talk about?
Her:”About movies”
I guess the movie talked about the movie making process, but i would have liked having some more details..
Anyway, 2 days ago, we were on discord together and in one of those “absence” moments, and we had been almost 2 hours with her just doing “nothing” and me trying to make her talk with me with some cool topics, but i found nothing that could work. All of a sudden my home electricty shut down and my pc turned off. 20 mins later, i receive a screenshot from her depicting her chat with another guy where he called her brat and she was acting like a kid saying stuff like “I WILLLL” with some weird emojis. In the upper part of the screenshot i could see that she was talking about the weather with him, and i asked myself, “just to talk with this guy, she would even talk about the weather, but with me she doesn’t even make an effort” i dont know if i make my thought clear, she would literally talk about the weather to just talk, but with me not even that.
Anyway after that i really exploded and i was ready to leave her, but deep inside i couldn’t.. in the past she showed me a lot of love, she presented me to her family, to her friends and stuff.. but really lately i feel ignored and the cool part about it is that whenever i tell her that something is wrong, whether i do it in a calm way or in an angry way, she would start an argue and try to really win and smash me, i try to end them arguments really quick by saying sorry and stuff, and eventually at the end, she would say sorry too, and for the next few days i would see her showing me a lot of love and affection to then fall back in the absent stage.
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TLDR: My girlfriend doens’t even make an effort to chat with me but she finds all sort of ways to text with with other guys
3 comments
I’m so sorry to hear that!
You definitely don’t deserve to be in this situation, and I know how it feels to be afraid to disappoint a partner’s family or friends.
I know you have made an effort to speak about your feelings and I’m so sorry she wasn’t ready to hear it.
I would consider if taking a break would be a healthy thing for you. I feel like this is a good way to demonstrate that you will not tolerate being treated poorly without ending a relationship or being manipulative. You can use this time to relearn to be happy without constantly being connected to a partner.
Another option is to tell her on the phone, “Please call me back if you want to have a real conversation, but otherwise I’m a bit busy doing xyz”.
If she continues to try to scare you into spending time with her by talking to to other guys – it’s JUST manipulation.
Wishing you the best!
Leave her bro. Not worth it. Why would you want to be with someone who doesnt show the same interest you do. She’s clearly looking for something else if talking to other guys.
If she was this dry to every guy, then I would have said that this is the way she is. But the big contrast between how she talks with other guys and how she talks with you does most likely mean that she isn’t interested in you anymore. What I will say sounds really harsh and I might get downvoted for this, but I will say it like I think it is: Women do not like an ”easy” man, especially if she has a cold/distant father. With easy I mean that you give her positive attention too easy on an unconditional basis (so being really warm and all while she acts like this). I think it is very unfortunate this way as I do like to be kind and all, but this is just what I can see from my own experience.
Tbh if I were you I would drastically lower your positive attention towards her. If you notice that she suddenly wants your attention, then that’s great and you can work on that by continuously giving her just a bit of attention, not too much. If you notice no difference at all, then I think that she already made up her mind on you and I think you should end it.
Another possible indicator: If you see a drastic change in your sex life (frequently sex with lots of passion –> she barely wants sex and she is not even enjoying it that much anymore) then you should definitely do the thing I’ve said imo.