As the title says, I (23M) cant give my girlfriend (21F) an orgasm. We do normal PIV sex but the thing is I am kind of grossed out by oral sex and without that i dont know how to make her cum. I would appreciate some tips please.

29 comments

  2. Have you tried stimulating different areas att the same time? Like the clitoris or other parts she likes when you touch?

  3. Rub her clit while you’re having sex with her. You may need lube/spit if she’s not wet but proper stimulation of the clit should work. Sometimes it’s hard to focus on thrusting and rubbing at the same time but make her the priority and focus on her clit. You can finish once she has

  4. You can rub her clit with your fingers. You could use a sex toy on her. You could kiss her nipples while she rubs her clit. You could work on getting over your feet of oral.

  5. Maybe consider getting a small vibrator to bring into your play time. A small bullet or egg vibe can be used in tons of ways and you can use it for foreplay or PiV.

  6. Strongly recommend to work out on why oral grosses you out, it’s just the easiest way for me and looks like my gf enjoys it a lot

    I never had any problem with it and actually find it quite fun and exciting, but my gf can sometimes have high PH so the taste is strong, in those cases usually a little bit of saliva makes the her juices go away

  7. Just curious, what do you find so gross about going down on a woman? Have you even tried it? Or is the idea of it alone a turn off for you?

  8. From my limited experience I don’t think orgasm from just PIV is too common so don’t feel bad at all. Something that really helps me is lots of warm up and foreplay. If you want specifics (but keep in mind every woman is different)… lots of making out; neck kissing, sucking and biting; lots of grabbing and playing sensitive areas; and fingering are all things that help me cum fast. I could cum from a hot passionate make out session while I have my clit played with. I love when I’m slowly teased and played with before all the focus is on my clit. You don’t have to make her cum at this point, but it will REALLY help!

    This is all warm up, and now you can have her play with herself during sex, or have her hold a vibrator on her clit. I can’t guarantee it (since we’re all different) but I’m confident this will help 😁

    Best of luck!

  10. There are hands and toys, but you really need to work on your issue with respect to giving oral pleasure to a woman. The majority of women cannot orgasm from PIV sex alone and oral, absent the intervention with vibrators, is the easiest and usually most satisfying for the woman avenue for her having a good orgasm. Get over your being grossed out and work on developing the skills that will make more likely a successful intimate life for you and your partner.

  11. Does she know how to make herself orgasm? I suspect she does, so it’d be worth talking to her and asking her on what and how you should do things. All it takes is proper communication 👌🏻

  12. Sex toys.

    Also, absolutely encourage her to touch herself. A woman with her hand down there (or a toy) getting stuff going while doing your thing is super hot.

  14. Is she able to reach orgasm when masturbating? If so ask to watch her masturbate. Then you’ll get a better idea of what works for her.

    That being said most women don’t orgasm simply through PIV. They need clit stimulation at very least. Either you or her can rub her clit while having sex.

    As for oral, I’m going to suggest that you make a concerted effort to get over it. Vaginas aren’t gross. Oral sex on a vagina is no grosser than oral sex on a penis. The combination of fingering the g spot and licking the clit is the most effective way to give a woman an orgasm in my experience.

  16. The majority of women aren’t going to orgasm from normal PIV sex. Making a particular woman orgasm is not an easy formula the internet can teach you in 10 minutes, you have to be invested and interested in figuring out what makes her feel good, and make her the focus of the sexual encounter. Most of that stuff is information *she* knows, and we don’t, so you have to ask her, before and during your sexual activity, so she can show you what makes her feel good, and let you know what she wants from your encounters. The easiest stuff is just going to be emulating how she masturbates, with hands or toys or whatever her method might be. As others have suggested, if she doesn’t have a vibrator, including one is a potential path.

    Beginning by firmly crossing off the stuff that “grosses *you* out” is not really a good start here, because basically everything in the list of things that are going to make her orgasm is going to be something that you’re going to have to *want to do*, primarily *for* her, and if you already can’t find the intrinsic motivation to closely interact with her genitals because the idea of that grosses you out more than you’re interested in her enjoyment, well.. basically everything that anyone is going to suggest is going to involve you sticking your face, or your hands, into that area for an extended period of time, and not finding that gross.

  17. Unless there’s a hygiene issue that you omitted, get over being “grossed out” by oral sex. For the overwhelming majority of women, it’s a necessity. Most women are unable to orgasm from penetration alone and for many, they can’t. It’s pleasurable but there won’t be an orgasm.

  18. Here you go, no extra charge for this. Get her comfortable in her side or back. You may want to incorporate some lubricant. Take your middle finger and ring finger of your strong hand and insert it into her vagina. As you should know, her clit is toward the top of the opening. Guide your fingers up and you should feel the under side of the public bone. The area is rounded, so you’ll want to begin curling your fingers slightly. Your fingers will curl around the curve of the bone and will begin to move toward the front of her body again. Press back slightly and you will feel an area that is slight rough in a spongy way. This is the g spot. You will want to rub you finger’s in, for the lack of a better term, “come here” motion. Lightly and increasing in speed and firmness as you proceed. You can intermittently press directly on the spongy area. But rotate the pressure with the rubbing. You can also take this opportunity to stimulate her clit with your free hand. Softly, almost tickling it. You can also stimulate her breast with your tongue and mouth. You shouldn’t have to do this for an extended time, before your begin to see some physical response. Her breathing rate should increase, she may start making small kicking motions with her feet, she also may begin rocking her hips. You should maintain or increase the speed of the rubbing/pressure. You will know that she is close to the O when her legs and abdomen begin shaking and contracting involuntarily possibly even back arching etc. When the abdominal contractions seem to be close to their peak take your free hand (not the one in her vagina) and press down lightly in her lower abdomen. She should be in a full frenzy at this point. A couple of things to keep in mind that can impact the success of this technique, this gives the female a strong sensation as they build to an O that feels like they are going to pee. This is a technique that people use to get women to, “squirt”. Either one of those dynamics can impact the end result. It’s probably best to explain to sensation to pee, and best you can convince them it’s normal. Good luck, I’ve had great success with this for nearly 40 years.

  20. So you can try a few things. One way I like to have sex is my boyfriend will fuck me in missionary for example and rub my clit with his thumb while he’s fucking me. You can also buy a cock ring with the attachment that vibrates the clit, pretty cool tbh. Oh maybe try sucking her breasts and touching her clit as well, if she has sensitive nipples be gentle. Also why are you grossed out by eating her out? Genuine question not bashing you here

  24. Just suck it up and eat the woman, making her cum will get you over the fear of lady parts.

  26. Some of us need a lot of warming up beforehand: dirty talk, teasing, massages, kissing, dry humping, intense eye contact, etc. Why not try mutual masturbation so you can at least be in her presence when she orgasms. That might help her relax more when you’re driving the bus. Or have her just masturbate for you while you watch so she can see how turned on you get. A lot of it is in our heads, too. So if we feel sad, angry, nervous, ashamed, rushed, etc., then it probably won’t happen.

    She’s so young, she may not even be aware of the best ways to achieve intense orgasms. That’s why experimentation is fun. Fingers are amazing! Fingers and toys are even better.

    Whatever you do, never tell her you’re “grossed out” by giving head. And while you’re at it, don’t expect to get any in return.

  28. just remember that the clit is the female sex organ, NOT the vaginal canal. Stimulate that shit how she likes

  29. Firstly as a woman. I pray that you haven’t told her that you’re grossed out by her genitalia. Because that would make me extremely insecure. Second if you can’t find the courage to get down there and do effective things like performing oral sex or fingering. Then you might as well find a new partner because a extremely small percentage of women actually cum from penetration alone. And idk I just feel as though you see penetration alone isn’t working and you’re too focused on bringing yourself pleasure by avoiding being close to her genitalia. Idk but that kind of vibe is something that can be sensed by women and that could very well be the reason she’s not climaxing. My advice… get over yourself dude

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