I’m always that person that keeps to myself and has more of a “stiff” and introverted personality type. Even my brain is wired like this around others. I find myself attracted to people who are more extroverted, confident, witty, funny, ect. They’re just fun to be around. I guess I’m just wondering if there are ways to help bring out that part of me. Not just for others, but for myself. I’m tired of being so boring. It’s boring, even when I’m just with myself.
Idk maybe it was the way I’m raised, my lack of interesting qualities, or just my DNA. Who knows.
3 comments
Go out and Genuinely connect with people in real life e.g. ask how they are, their hobbies, interests, goals, opinions, etc. Listen and pay attention to what people say. Share those things about yourself when asked. People also subconsciously attach you to the value you bring. The value you bring is a clear, unique, and convincing reason why people will interact with you, let alone do so constantly. So Find ways to add value to their lives. Having In person interactions is the easiest way to stand out from countless people who text or message. People remember and favor in person interactions because of the positive vibes. If your hobbies, skills, talents align with their interests or can help them, bring it up and offer to help them. Finally, learn how to be genuinely busy in your life pursuing your goals and hobbies, while interacting with people on the side. People are hardwired to be repulsed by neediness and desperation and instead gravitate towards those who are self confident and well rounded in life. They want to see active confirmation of you actually doing something in your life other than just talking to them. So chase excellence, not people.
Maybe think about what’s interesting to you?
Of course you can talk to people.
Try to do new things.
Maybe try eating new foods.
Listen to some new music.
Play a new game.
Find groups of people who do interesting things.
I can’t help you but I can suggest that this “stiffness” you mentioned is a defence mechanism people have. It may or may not be the case with you. Reflect on your past and identify any traumas you’ve had, especially during childhood and pay careful attention to whether they came from strangers or people you loved e.g. parents or friends.