So… I’m 25 average in looks.
Recent college graduate. Starting a new career. Finally moved out.
I actually feel more comfortable approaching women and having face to face conversations, so I told myself I would flat out refuse to use all dating apps.
I’m not super attractive. You can’t see a great personality through a dating app.
I don’t like the idea of someone judging you solely on your looks. I also don’t like that women have to approach you first and not the other way around.
I don’t like how (unlike face to face), the date on the other end can ghost you.
However, I can say that 90% of the time I have approached women in public places, it flat out did not work out.
So… I’ve often wondered if that’s what the kids are using these days. Am I severely limiting myself or making it harder for myself, by boycotting dating apps?
19 comments
99.99% of the time on dating apps, it flat out doesn’t work. So I think your odds are still better.
save yourself time, money, & energy,
just focus on career, building wealth/finances, gym, hobbies, etc
You’re missing out on sheer quantity, but not necessarily anything quality wise. A lot of women aren’t using the apps. Or at least not consistently.
> that’s what the kids are using these days
Bro you’re 25.
If your approaches are “flat out” not working, then you need to consider changing up your irl approach
To answer to the title of your post:
No, you do not miss out. Keep working on your real life, do your best about you and your success and keep making friends in real life if you can or find an activity/hobby. Eventually, you will meet a girl who will be the right one. It might take a few tries, but it will happen. Don’t chase it like a madman, let it come with the flow of life while you doing your own thing.
Short answer; yes. Long answer; yes but only if you have got the mental fortitude for mass produced rejection.
I never used any dating app bur I hear ton of people saying it’s worthless.
I get that, it seems the kids these days just hook up and walk away… I have no plans to date
> Am I severely limiting myself or making it harder for myself, by boycotting dating apps?
Yes you are. I’m not sure you have the right idea about dating apps. Using dating apps is just another way to meet people. The dating that follows from it is just the same as any other method.
>I’m not super attractive. You can’t see a great personality through a dating app.
You can’t really see a great personality when hitting up girls in a club (imo). That’s what the first date is for.
>I don’t like the idea of someone judging you solely on your looks.
I’m not sure there is way to date/approach without judging looks (excluding people you already know that is).
Your going to get judge on your looks regardless man, in real life and online so might as well maximize your chances.
You’ll also get ghosted irl as well so..again might as well try
The only thing you’re missing out on is loss of self esteem and depression
Been on bumble for 2 weeks and nothing …. pointless
At your age the women you are looking to date will be at bars and clubs. Try approaching them there. If you’re approaching women at the local coffee shop chances are much lower that they’re single and interested
If you’re refusing to use the apps, then you’re unlikely to be able to set up dates tbh .
I’m 40 and just started dating after a long term relationship finished. At the start I hated the apps thinking it was so shallow etc, but I’ve learned that this is just the way to meet new people these days.
Even if you go to a club you see people swiping on tinder so it’s just the done thing now.
If you were hot then yeah but you answered that
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Yes only if you truly and I mean truly use it as a supplemental activity to your already boisterous social life. I’m an average guy and it worked for me. You have to have the mental fortitude to withstand months or years or little to no internet and many conversations that go no where. It’s all perspective my man; I used the apps with an intent to find someone but I didn’t expect anything to come out of it because at the end of the day it’s just application process except in the dating realm. I simply applied, and if I got denied I don’t try to figure out why or what I could’ve said or done, I simply move on and apply elsewhere. This can get demoralizing but compared to sitting at home and wallowing it’s not all that bad (although you should be working on improving your self and self image while doing all this). It will take a lot of time management and effort invested but in the end you’ll be the person who you desire to be. Just so you know you’ll definitely still get denied for your looks in real life, your just making it more awkward by being in front of them expecting an immediate response back. The women you’re planning on approaching in real life are most definitely on the apps as well and will have many many guys in their DMs. It’s an insecurity you’re going to have to get over.
Why not just be open minded and do both?
Wow, you are a rare man. Having the guts to talk to the opposite sex in public- OMG!
Seriously, people are afraid of those who have this skill. I personally would rather meet people in person. I think it’s a wonderful quality & is flattering. Keep it up. It’s a lost art! You’ll find your girl, give it some time. In that time get a good understanding of who you are and what you want for your life.
Besides dating apps don’t work for everyone.
In my experience, apps are best for casual or short-term dating. Serious or long-term relationships are much harder to grow from apps.
I know a few people who found their spouses or long-term partners on apps, but everybody else looking for serious relationships had awful online dating experiences and had better luck offline.