I hooked up with a woman I met on a dating app. After a couple of dates, she invited me to her apartment.
She wanted sex but for some reason, I just wasn’t that into it on that particular night, so I went down on her. She came 6 times before I got up, got dressed, went home and jerked off.
She was upset I didn’t have sex with her sending me abusive messages and texts, so I ghosted her.

I now want to hook up with more women and just go down on them, without actually having sex with them. Does that make me weird?

37 comments

  2. Did you explain to her that you weren’t feeling it, and also explain that going down is all you were feeling at the time? Maybe that would have mitigated the texts that came later? Sounds like the communication wasn’t on point.

  3. It’s perfectly fine, and I think it’s a good time to change your vocabulary. Sex isn’t penetration, sex is whatever you do, so that was oral sex, thus simply sex. You had sex, you just didn’t have penetration.

    Of course you can decide to have sex just giving oral, as long as your partners are aware that you might not do much else. You’re not forced to do penetration ofc, but if they feel like letting you do oral is a way to then have penetration, this wouldn’t be really communicative of you! Nothing serious but it would just be better to let them understand beforehand

  4. It’s weird, but weird is fine. There’s a whole subreddit about doing this with strangers – r/randomactsofmuffdive

    Could be that you are into the power dynamics more than the sex itself

  7. Nope not weird usually a lot of women would want to please you In some way, either PIV or oral. Her reaction though was way over the top. This might not be relevant but as a male I struggled to orgasm with women when I was in my 20’s. I just had not figured out what worked for me yet. Every woman I was with during that period of time was very upset I didn’t orgasm. They were nice to me, but they beat themselves up emotionally and all my , it’s not your fault stuff didn’t matter to me them. One woman literally told me i would never get oral sex ever again, because she was so humiliated.

    That was they tried and didn’t succeed , where as your situation sounds like you did not want them to try pleasing you.

  9. Don’t do it. It just makes you look like an asshole, because you didn’t finish what you started.

    Better find someone who you DO want to have sex (and other stuff) with.

  10. I don’t think that’s strange at all. I wish guys would be more into that tbh

  11. I have found that know matter what the subject may be and especially when it comes to sex. Be direct up front 100%. Then if there’s questions or problems you look them straight in their eyes and say, didn’t we have this discussion? Im sure we did. You would be amazed at how much better things go. Good luck bro.

  12. It doesn’t make you weird!
    You might have some people expecting to have full sex, and being surprised, but that shouldn’t be abusive. Some girls might have insecurity about receiving oral, so there’s that to be aware of, but if your asking consent there’s no problem with not wanting to have full sex every time. Main thing is everyone enjoys what’s happening, no matter what your doing.
    And I gotta say amazing oral is a good skill to have!

    The way she acted was out of line, not what you were doing.

  13. She perhaps felt like there’s something wrong with her when you just left like that. Maybe managing expectations from the start will help.

  15. Not weird at all. I’ve had several encounters that lead to oral but never PIV sex. If that’s the kind of interaction two adults wants, who is to say it’s weird. Her reaction seems excessive though and abusive messages are never okay. You should both probably have communicated your desires better before you hooked up

  16. Just be upfront about it ahead of time. Some women may be specifically looking for PIV and not care for oral, so you want to figure out if you’re both going to enjoy this encounter before committing.

    I’m sure plenty of women will be down for it if you communicate that’s what you’re looking for.

  17. If that lady didn’t want 6 orgasms via oral sex, she could have asked you to stop at any time. You don’t owe her any particular sex act. It is ok to not be into piv or whatever at any particular time. Oral sex is sex, as evidenced by 6 orgasms. It does sound like you may have left rather abruptly, at least as you have described your departure. So it seems reasonable for her to want to understand what happened. And t would be normal to politely inquire. But for her to start sending your abusive messages and then ghost you is wacko. That’s abnormal. I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with someone so unstable. I would have recommended a more gracious departure with some communication to put your lady at ease that everything is ok.

    Regarding your future plans, I would recommend being upfront about you sexual interests when the topic of sex comes up because you seem fairly clear on your intentions. Your interest in only doing oral isn’t weird. I have known some ladies who have only wanted to give a blow job. It is not weird what you are suggesting, but it is unusual. Unusual, but not bad. I imagine some ladies will find it appealing. I would also anticipate it will be confusing to some ladies and you should be prepared to explain your thinking (even if the explanation is simply oral sex is just how you feel or what you like to do).

  18. I went in a date one time with a guy and at the end of the night he went down on me and that’s all he let happen. I loved it.

  19. It’s all about pleasuring them dude, if they want to pleasure you back it’s very welcome, but if they don’t that’s ok. Make them happy, that’s what’s important.

  20. I would just say that PiV sex is a major commitment to you and will do everything else but that.

  21. It’s fine, but you have to communicate with your partners. Did you just get up and bounce leaving her feeling horny and rejected? That might explain the reaction you’re getting.

    My wife loves when I go down on her, but she doesn’t like getting head and not getting fucked after. It leaves her unsatisfied and wanting more. Not every woman will be cool with it, so ask.

  23. I do it all the time. Just ask my wife. As long as she’s happy then F it, it makes me happy being the giver.

  24. It’s kinda strange and I would’ve been made too because I wouldn’t feel completely satisfied. But if that’s what you’re into have it, just let her know beforehand so she’s not expecting more.

  25. That’s the kind of hook up a girl usually looks for, I know for sure I’d be okay if a dude just wanted to go down on me. It avoids the risk of pregnancy

  26. IME if you go down on a woman and she comes, she will demand to be fucked. As a gentleman I always comply.

  28. There are some night were I’m not horny and ill still go down on my wife give her a good time! Just because I didn’t get to blow doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy it! I love making her feel fantastic 😌

  29. Half and half. I have nights like that with my wife all the times. And I enjoy every second of it. I couldn’t imagine having a night like that with a girl for the first time. But hey, to each his own.

  30. She should be thanking her lucky stars, not being an ass to you! She’s being absolutely ridiculous, and any REASONABLE woman would consider that a great night— one to remember.

  32. I go down on my wife without sex afterwards still the time. I freaking love it. Sometimes it’s just about her.

  33. She had 6 orgasms and she got mad at you? I think her bergina was broken. Some of us would have been blowing your phone up for an encore

  34. I mean, did you just get up and wordlessly get dressed and leave? No communication? If you had done that to me, i woupd not have sent abusive messages, but i would have been REALLY CREEPED OUT, and would have never met up with you again…

  35. Who cares if that makes you weird or not! Just talk about that with the women ahead of time to make sure they are cool with it and make it known if you want the favor returned or not.

  36. Boy if I could meet someone like you, I’d get real excited. I love receiving oral. Unfortunately I haven’t met a lot of men who do it. There’s nothing wrong with what you did, I just wish she was more understanding of the matter.

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