TL;DR AT THE BOTTOM
Hello! I am 22f and my SO is 22m. We’ve been together for 2 and a half years and have known each other for 10. Right now, he is overseas on a deployment. Before he left, we would spend pretty much every day together and he loved paying for my food and buying me little cute things that caught my attention while we were out and about. He said that it made him feel good to see me happy and because he paid for it, he felt cool like a sugar daddy (his exact words lol).
Now that he’s overseas, our time is so different than before (8hr difference) so we use up all his free time on the phone. I love sending him packages and letters and anything I can, honestly. He’s sent me home some souvenirs and letters as well.
I’m sure it’s just the fact that I don’t get as many presents anymore, but I feel so greedy asking for more. I really want him to send me some food or plushies or even something practical. I want him to spend money on me, but I don’t want to ask.
I asked him today if I could have a drink from Starbucks and it took me maybe 5min to get the request out because I was so embarrassed and ashamed to ask. He smiled so wide and immediately sent me more than enough for the drink I wanted, which tells me he still loves buying me things?
What does anyone else think about this? Am I overthinking it? Should I continue asking for little things? If so, how often is too often?
TL;DR
My boyfriend used to spoil me, but now he’s deployed overseas and doesn’t have the opportunity to spoil me as often as before. If I ask for small gifts, he excitedly gets it for me, but I feel ashamed for asking even though I love getting gifts from him. Is it wrong to ask?
2 comments
I don’t think it’s wrong to ask! Especially if it’s a request for small things occasionally. It’s great to let him know it means a lot to you, and sounds like he enjoys doing it. Gift giving is a love language and bravo for voicing your desires. I would try to not overthink it or feel guilty.
I think I’m someone like your boyfriend. I love it when my partner asks for little things like that because it helps me feel more like a provider, and I truly do enjoy that (even though she’s in grad school for a profession that will pay significantly more than mine).