I wake up and within 2 mins my brain goes like,” ah shit you are single.” While going for my morning walk, I see couples jogging together, it breaks my heart.
While going to work and coming back, I listen to songs that some how talk about love. I go hang out with my friends and all they do is talk about what stuffs they did with their gf.
I watch Netflix at night and of course there has to be a romantic scene.
This vicious cycle in my head makes me desperate for one, and that drives women away from my life.
I just want to be asexual so that I don’t have to worry of not getting anyone.
Please help.
4 comments
You need to become genuinely busy in your life focusing on your hobbies and goals, while interacting with other people on the side in real life. Find something you enjoy doing in life and keep doing that overtime. You will build much needed self esteem and self confidence. Chase excellence, not people.
Aw man, I really feel for you 🙁 it sounds like you are really searching for connection. Have you tried approaching women before? Are there any lady friends in your life or general proximity that you are interested in? What are your hobbies and interests? I’m just trying to get some more info.
There’s a lot of classic advice like focus on yourself and build your own life first. Go to bars/social events. Yada yada. All true. But it also really depends on what you are like personally and what you are looking for in a relationship. Looking for casual sex versus looking for a loving partner and so on.
What specifics do you think impact this?
Do people not realize that there are a lot of single people out there?
Yes, your situation may be a bit extra because your parents guided you to neglect your social and romantic life. But the end result is not very different.
My spouse was completely single for ten years before he met me, and we have a friend who was single for probably thirty years before he married. Both of them would have rather not been single, but they pursued their interests, joined communities, and had very interesting social and intellectual lives, so that they didn’t suffer so much from being single.
Honestly I think it’s worth looking into arranged marriage options. That may sound weird, but I think a lot of online dating these days is little more than DIY arranged marriage. We act like everyone has moved on from traditions because they have their flaws, but some people are well suited to traditional approaches. I’ve known some couples that had arranged marriages and most had good lives.
Love, relationships, success– all of these things don’t seem to just happen as you will it. The more you want it, often times, they can elude you faster– or worse, ones that you do have could slip away.
Make space for your future significant other. You’ll no doubt do well by him or her. But you have to be perfectly okay with being alone, otherwise, there is a likelihood that the other person can sense your desperation. Not that this is a bad thing, but many people would see that as a potential red flag early in a relationship.
If anything, practicing healthy detachment would be a great thing to do while preparing for your next relationship.