Pretty much the title.
I’ll give some context, I am in my 20s, a foreigner uni student in Asia. I find it hard to approach random people to have a chat with them and make friends. I really hate being alone, but also can’t get myself to meet new people. I do not know how to do it. I really like being alone and being in my own company, but you know, it’d be nice to have friends, especially at uni…
From my POV, everyone seems unapproachable, like they are busy, do not want to be approached or would not enjoy my company, or I am scared that I’d be judged?
Any advice is appreciated, thank you in advance!
4 comments
Just tell yourself you are not there to impress anyone. In fact it’s the other way around, they have to impress you
I’m from Asia (Singapore!) and I’ve studied in both the U.S. as well as locally.
Asians tend to be a bit more conservative and might seem more “unapproachable”, but we are mostly open to making friends!
Is there a club / society / sports that you can join?
It’s much easier to make friends when you have a common context rather than random people.
Drink!
You have to find ice breakers, maybe they’re wearing branded clothing or apperal (sports teams bands etc) or you’re in ear shot of an interesting conversation that you could nudge your way into (tread verrrryyyyy lightly with that one). Ice breakers seem very daunting going up to random people and thinking of things to say is hard but some of my best friends are people that I just started talking to randomly because of that one topic we happen to share interest in. Keep in mind if someone doesn’t seem approachable that doesnt mean they aren’t. I have a bad case of resting cunt face so alot of people won’t approach me (im also 6’7″ and pretty built so I dont exactly project a fun approachable demeanor) but some people do not give af and will approach me anyways to start a conversation. As long as I feel its genuine and they’re not trying to get something out of me or sell me something I put on a smile and my demeanor changes instantly. Sometimes a small compliment or positve remark can change someone’s day for the better and make them instantly more friendly then that person will think about you but in a positive way so next time you see them its less akward because chances are they see you as friendly and likeable. Even If you go up to someone, your ice breaker doesnt work and your cant start a conversation dont be afraid to give a genuine smile tell them it was nice to meet them and just walk away you will not be judged for trying. people have their own problems and lives they dont think about you nearly as much as you think about you, most likely never again after you walk away. The ideas you generate in your head about what that person maybe thinking about you are usually thoughts that would never cross someones mind.