I have been talking to this guy for about 3 weeks now and it’s been moving pretty quickly. We have a lot in common, get along great and honestly the list goes on. i like him 8/10 right now and he expresses the same about me and tells me that he doesn’t want something “casual” with me. However, I went into creepy girl mode yesterday and looked at who he followed on social media and 95% of it is hot girl in bikinis and what not. Any girl profile that I clicked on he liked their picture and commented on several of them and some of the comments were as recent as yesterday. Im not sure if he’s just friends with all these girls but he seems pretty flirty if he comments. Call me psycho or whatever but I was not expecting to find this dude all over every single girl. He definitely doesn’t give this vibe off in person. & I’d like to think since we have been talking he wouldn’t continue to do that. I’d like to know if this is just a guy thing and not really a big deal or should I just steer clear of this dude bc he probably won’t change his horny, immature ways. Honestly super disappointing bc this is what I dealt with in my last relationship.
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It’s not a red flag specifically but it could be your deal breaker, especially because you have prior experience with a similar guy who does this and you know the result of what it happened to your relationship, so maybe you don’t want to take that chance and go through it again.
That’s what dating and getting dating experience can help with so that you avoid similar people or similar situations
Maybe he just likes looking at as wide a *variety* as possible of pretty girls (he’s a guy for goodness’ sake). And, dislikes seeing their picture twice. Might the app only display girls he has not yet liked?
Just like on these forums: I up vote every topic I’ve visited (unless it’s really terrible, at which point I’ll down vote it), mostly so I know on the index whether I’ve looked at it earlier or not.
> I’d like to know if this is just a guy thing
lol no
Nah. My mans was “loyal” I guess you could say during the talking stage, he didn’t talk, flirt, or look at anyone. There are guys who would/will drop everything just for the POSSIBILITY of being with you, so don’t settle. That’s just my opinion, not everyone will agree, it’s entirely up to you and your standards/expectations. Or you could always talk to him about it, and ask if he means anything by following them or commenting on their posts. If that scares him away, he wasn’t meant for you. Again, that’s just my opinion.
Its ok to follow girls on IG and even like their photos. But imo its a red flag to post. It makes him look thirsty.
I find men (or women) acting thirsty on their public profiles a turn off. Comes off as lacking self awareness and basic control of oneself. Most of my social media is public, but I do like discretion and some level of privacy when it comes to intimacy, so acting horny online is just something I wouldn’t do and would not want my partner to do.
While you can’t extrapolate his intentions from your past relationship, I do find his behavior you described as immature (at best) and hypocritical (at worst).
If he wants something exclusive with you, thirsting after other women online is a very weird thing to be doing at the same time. Maybe slow roll the talks of exclusivity and see how this shapes up. Or have a chat about what exactly exclusivity means for you both.
I suggest having a light hearted conversation about what values you both like to hold in a relationship and what you expect from a partner. Learn about his ideas of what’s important and also talk about yours.
With this conversation you can also determine if there’s any hypocrisy involved by the answers he gives and/or if he comes across as only telling you what you want to hear in contrast with his actions.
Don’t mention you saw his comments, and don’t mention that you did after the conversation.
Vigilance is a good thing when dating but don’t go looking for flaws as that can develop into a toxic habit and create an unbalanced dynamic of authority between the two of you.
If you feel like this process is exhausting for you it may be wise to tag the relationship as incompatible and move on.
Good luck!
Ngl I think you should call him out. In a nice way. It’s good to talk about these things with people. They might not even realize how excessive they are on socials. Women and men included. Plus how they react will tell you a lot