Men who stopped seeking a relationship after a long time relationship ended and just decide to focus on every aspect of their lives, how are you doing now?

18 comments

  1. Life is painful and meaningless, but I don’t think a new relationship would’ve really fixed that for me

  3. In a much better relationship.

    It took a couple tries after crawling out of that hole. There were a couple attempts at relationships along the way that turned out to be misfires and false starts. But I got there.

  5. Couple months later and the following:

    – Lost a ton of weight

    – Am much more active, almost back to peak physical fitness.

    – Enjoying deciding what I want to do 24/7

    – Isolation and quiet, loneliness, all are enjoyable now

    – Able to pursue my own hobbies, passions, and interests

    – Saving so much money and can actually lay out realistic financial goals

    – Quit smoking

    – Quit drinking

    – Reading a lot

    – Sleeping better

    – Calmer

    – More confident

    All in all everything that I should have enjoyed/been able to enjoy in a normal, healthy relationship (with reasonable compromises excepted), but now I get to have that normal, healthy relationship with myself instead of a toxic partner.

  6. Lonely but really just doing what I can to better myself. I got a good amount of holes to fill before I can present myself as a solid person

  7. Fine. I’m healthier, better off financially, better off mentally, and better off in terms of my living situation than I was last year or the year before.

    I don’t think it should be a choice to stay single after an LTR ends. I think it should just be considered best practice. You intertwine yourself with someone for 3, 5, 8, 10 years, then end up single, you’re going to be a completely different person than you were when you went in.

    What not spend a couple years afterwards getting used to it? Reconcile the emotions from the breakup, so that’s squared away, then figure out what you, x years older, enjoys doing. Pick up hobbies you had to drop for the ex. Start new ones you wanted to try but couldn’t. Go out to places you want to but the ex didn’t. Date yourself for a bit, and get to know who you are again.

    In my opinion, formed from experience, jumping into a new relationship before you’ve given the old one time to mellow is just a recipe for perpetuating the same pattern of misery over and over again. And even if you are the type of person that can’t be alone, or starts climbing the walls if you have to have an evening of your own company, that’s something you should probably work on fixing, too.

  8. Financially- 4x income
    Health- down 30lb (of 100 that I need to lose)
    ….
    Otherwise? NOT GREAT MY DUDE.

  9. Never better. It’s insane how much energy and money guys put into attracting woman.

  11. Not great, but finally back to an upward trend. Being alone during the pandemic wrecked my mental health. Having a partner to weather that storm with would have been seriously beneficial. Then I injured my back at work back in December, and have been out of work since. I finally broke down and admitted that I needed help to get back on my feet, and recently moved back in with my mother.

  13. I was with my ex for 8 years and that ended because she cheated on me. Decided I didn’t want to date for a while and focus on me.

    That’s what I thought, then 2 weeks later an amazing girl walked into my life during a group project in college. We’re now married… Wasn’t seeking a relationship but it found me anyways

  14. Meh. Could be better, could be worse, but I’m certainly never going back. Solo for life.

  15. Lost 25lbs, got a few raises at work, hobbies are less stressful, i get to do whatever i want. Lack of sex is a bummer though. Trying to meet new people at 35 is also a huge bummer.

  16. Um, not too different. I realized some stuff about myself after the breakup that I have been working on. I have been forcing myself to be more social, I’m trying to be less pesimistic, I’ve been playing sports and working out more, and I have been reevaluating what hobbies and other things really make me happy. It’s pretty easy to get absorbed into someone else’s life when you are with them all the time, so post breakup is a good time to get introspective for the sake of improvement. Hell, I don’t think my ex would have broken up with current me, but that ship has sailed. Took a few months but I’m back out there and I’ve been seeing someone, it’s going well

  17. It’s been almost 2 years since my 5 year relationship ended and I have been improving myself this entire time.

    I’ve gotten into weightlifting and kayak fishing. I wanted to get into some form of MMA like muay thai as well but I go to college full time as well as working 40 hours a week so most of the MMA classes conflict with my schedule. Hoping to do that after I graduate with my bachelors in comp sci next year. Trying to learn embedded systems before I graduate so I can land a job in that.

    I’ve lost a ton of weight and am the physically strongest I’ve ever been. Actually gained a friend group which I didn’t have while in my last relationship. Started micro managing my spending and managed to save a ton of money and raise my credit score almost 100 points to 751 which I’d say is pretty good for 25 years old. Started to dress better and have gotten more attention from women than I’m used to which is a confidence booster even if I’m not interested.

    Looking back 2 years ago, I barely recognize myself with how much I’ve improved but there’s still room for more.

  18. It’s freeing and you get to a point that you realize you don’t want to give it up. My dog is a satisfactory replacement for now. He’s always glad to see me and whatever we do is fine with him

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like