(M)Reaching out to an old fling(F) who’s husband passed away.

Hello, this may be a bit of a long post but it requires some back story so I apolgize.

In high-school I had a great friend, we’ll call him Neil, that I was in a band with. Neil was one of the nicest, loving, most caring guys in the world, even if he did have a bit of a drug problem. As I got to know Neil he started dating this girl, we’ll call her Lisa,. Lisa loved everyone, loved life, and always had the most sunny dispostition. Life happened, we all graduated high school, and we went our separate ways, except for Neil and Lisa who stayed together of course.

A few years go by and Neil picked up a job doing some kind of traveling road work and he was never home. I believe Lisa grew tired of this and I heard through the grapevine that they had split up. Fast forward a few months and I match with Lisa on Tinder, it felt strange to go on a date with my old best friends ex, however there was always something about her that intrigued me. I hadn’t met someone who could find that amount of sunshine that she could, even during a thunderstorm. I thought “fuck it, even if it doesn’t work out romantically, I can still reconnect with an old friend.” We went on the date, had a great time, but just didn’t click romantically, and sadly we fell apart from each other not long after.

After a few months I found the love of my life in a girl named “Delores,” while Lisa and Neil ended up getting back together. Delores and I dated for a few years and I decided to propose, she moved in shortly after. A few years into the relationship I found out that my friend Neil had been in an accident(everyoe who knew him assumed it was an overdose) and had passed away out state, leaving Lisa with 2 children and a broken heart, I am sure. Sadly I didn’t get to go to his funeral, as we had found out about his death, the day of. I wanted to reach out and tell her that I, and my fiance, would be here if she needed anything, but I felt like it would be a bit awkward considering the date we had.

Recently I found out that Delores was cheating on me. I, stupidly, gave her chance after chance but it kept happening. Finally, the straw that broke the camels back fell and we split up.

I still think about Lisa most days and how much pain and suffering she must be going through having to raise those 2 children alone. I want to message her and let her know that I’m sorry for her loss and I’m here if she needs anything, but I know how it is going to look if i message an old tinder match as soon as I have become single.

Humbly, I will admit, i am lonely AF and really need a friend to talk to.

How can I get it across that I have no kind of romantic intentions and I just want to be there for a friend who has been through a lot?

Thanks in advance
-Presley