I just came to this conclusion after being in denail for so long
I would tell myself that I love myself, I don’t care if people think badly of me, that I love myself more than anybody and I do feel that way when I’m by myself
but I find myself getting anxious when people I don’t know talk to me or I think “what if they think I’m weird…”
And when they do say an insult, I get so hurt and think about it all day and night.
When I’m on social media and see people make fun of interests/qualities I have, it makes me want to stop engaging in these interests or start changing qualities about myself
I’m also easily influenced
it’s so hard doing the fake-it-till-you-make-it because I forget all about it when my confidence is tainted just a little
How can I genuinely start loving myself and so I can stop pretending? And how can I stop taking things so personally?
2 comments
I think there can be a tendency for certain people to assume or apply statements not intended for them to be intended for or applicable to them.
Some people (I think not as common and possibly correlated with overconfidence or arrogance in an area) tend to attribute positive items to themselves. More people, in my view, will tend to take critical statements and assume it’s about them, especially if they self-reflect a lot and have activities that generally fall into that range (which all of us are bound to have because we’re all human).
When I start feeling like critical statements may be weirdly personal, I like to think of that [one Carly Simon song](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cleCtBP0o5Y). It weirdly helps, for me.
The only way to get over this is exposure. Drive two towns over and go to a mall where nobody knows you and do some stuff that’s pretty foolish and weird. Even stop people and tell them you want to talk to them about something and disclose that you feel very shy and anxious around people and it’s been bothering you your entire life. You need to attack the shame head on.