So, ever since me (m22) and my girlfriend (f21) have been together, she had said that one of her “no way” things is anything in her butt. I have always been cognizant of this and wanted to respect her wishes because she had one bad experience in the past and this other guy was abusive and I think she correlated the idea to him.
However, outside of college we are long distance and she visited me last weekend. You would’ve thought that we never would see each other again with how we were all over each other and one of the times that she was riding me, subconsciously I started massaging the outside of her asshole with my finger. After a minute, she asked me if I knew where my finger was and I replied yes. Then she told me something that I never would’ve expected—“put it in”. So I moved my finger into her asshole and she said she absolutely loved it!
When she got back home she told me that we will have to do more experimenting with butt stuff in the future and that she was craving it which she said she’d never have thought she’d think. What would be some tips and things to start off with in terms of gradually moving towards anal for us?
11 comments
Good for you!
Pls use the search function 😃
This is extremely good, congrats!
Patience is key
I think that’s a great way to start, and then doing it for longer periods, maybe adding more fingers
Hey
F 21 US
You started out just right. Take your time and go slow. The guy before you likely rushed and ruined things for her. Next, go down on her and slowly let your tongue wander lower and lower… (if you you are comfortable with the idea of eating ass of course) You can be sure she really cleans herself well in anticipation of future adventures back there.
I’d recommend sending her a graduated butt plug set and TONS of lube so that she can experiment on her own a bit, get acclimated to things, and be able to better instruct you on what she likes and doesn’t like. You can help her get in the right headspace via sexting, phone sex, or zoom sex. Y’all have fun and be safe!
it’s really important to be patient and go slow with anal. I’ve never successful done anal but my ex was obsessed with it and always trying to get me to try it. I never gave him my consent and he would put a finger in during doggy and really surprise me. He then asked if I liked it then what’s the problem and the problem was consent. one day he actually tried to force it in during sex and it hurt so bad (didn’t go in) that now I’m almost completely against anal sex
You are basically describing the beginnings of anal foreplay.
People always talk about foreplay but really focus on preparing the vagina. The ass loves and needs foreplay just as much.
Playing with the outside of the ass can often feel just as good if not more pleasurable that actual penetration. There are a ton of nerve endings around the anus and outside stimulation can feel mind blowing.
My main piece of advice, especially given your partner’s history and recent positive reaction, is to go SLOW. Really SLOW. Don’t rush it. Savor it. Make her savor it. Make her crave it just like she is now.
If you are into it, I would try licking her ass. That is a great form of anal foreplay just like when going down on her vagina.
Center anal stimulation around her orgasms. This is the best way to associate great pleasure with anal play and to enhance pleasure and orgasms.
A finger in the ass while orgasming is often said to be earth shattering for many women.
A neat trick is to time it right and slowly pull your finger out of her ass so that the outward pulling motion is happening while she is orgasming. This outward sensation during orgasm can be amazing when done right.
If she is enjoying all of the above, then talk about adding another finger.
Some people really like the external stimulation. Some people really love the in/out motion. And, some people really like that stretch and full feeling.
Anal should NEVER hurt. Sure there might be a little pressure or twinge. But, it should never outright hurt. Just like vagina penetration.
Seriously. Focus on these things for a while. Like weeks maybe months. Wait for her to ask you to put your penis in.
This is basically how things went with my wife. And, now anal sex is something we work into our rotation about every 10th sexy session. Although I lick her ass and play with the outside and maybe finger it every single sexy session.
I’d say a set of butt plugs is a good start. We prefer glass or steel as they can stay in for a longer time without being painful (lube won’t dry out) and a lot easier to clean. Otherwise pinch in some homour and fun to get in the right mood, and never forget communication. Eating her out while playing with her butt is another suggestion that (for us) is great foreplay. Everybody is different, so be playful, communicate and listen to each other. And yes – don’t forget some good lube..
Start with small plugs and silicone lube, copious amounts of lube. Don’t be stingy.
Regular lube doesn’t hold up well but can be used with the plugs. Go silicone when you’re ready to play in the mud.
It can be SO incredibly intimate. Make sure she’s in a comfy position. Make sure she’s sufficiently turned on before you start any penetration. And make sure you check in with her often when you guys are just starting out. Something I love that my partner does is he sort of talks me through it. Reminds me to relax and breathe, rubs my lower back (helps with the relaxation), makes sure I’m being sufficiently stimulated in other ways to keep me in the pleasurable mindset, tells me I’m being a good girl, etc. Our most intimate sexual experiences have been anal because of the increased communication I think.