I am so angry

My husband lost his job 2 months ago. He claims he’s been looking for work but ya know, it’s been 2 months.
I drive for Uber and one of my regular passengers husband own a construction business and is looking for people. My boyfriend has been in construction/painting 10+ years so I passed his number along. Fast forward a week, he’s gets the job.
He worked for 2 days. 9am-4:30pm.
This morning, he wakes me up saying he’s staying home from work today because he can barely walk.
I got ANGRY.
We have 2 small children and are drowning in bills just like the rest of everyone struggling in these weird times.
I’m working 7 days a week right now (nights) trying to pay our bills. My husband had barely left the house the last 2 months. So, forgive me for being angry when he decided to try to stay home from work today on his 3rd day at this new job.
We’ve already been going through a rough patch with our relationship. His argument this morning contained a comment that I cannot stop thinking about. “I’m going to work. I don’t want to be here with you all day with you acting like this. I guess I’ll go limp around at work and give you and the kids all the money and sleep in the garage or something.”

Last week he made a comment about not feeling wanted or cared for by me.
He’s not wrong and I hate that. I don’t feel sorry for him. He doesn’t have any friends because he won’t go meet people or meet up with his old coworkers who still keep him in a group chat. He’s been given plenty of opportunity to. I don’t like being the only person in his life other than our children. I few like the way he expects me to act is him just setting expectations for me so clearly he’s being let down. Therapy would suffice. I carry the heavy burden of my own life. I’m depressed, beyond stressed and just simply not happy. I love my babies so much and the thought of leaving them behind is obviously gut wrenching. I need more. I fell in love with this person who doesn’t exist anymore. Now we have lifelong responsibilities and unpaid/late bills. He has a pretty traumatic past involving his parents and a lengthy custody battle. So every time we get into an argument he references something along the lines of taking his children away from him and Ive never even hinted the intention of doing that so it truly is his trauma talking. I’m just tired and sad.

I’ve been having heavy intrusive thoughts. I talked myself off the edge last week and convinced myself to go in a 72 hour hold because I didn’t know what else to do.
My husbands reaction to that was heartless and judgmental. He told me that our kids are going to be homeless if I don’t start acting right. He still hadn’t had a job at this point, either. I offered him the car while I’m in the hospital to which he responded, “I’ll drop you off so you can get whatever help you think you need and I can take care of the kids.”

I never went. If I did, my car would have been repossessed by the time I got out.
So I just shut down entirely.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if this is the right place for this but I need to reach out somewhere.