I have nowhere else to write this and nobody to talk to about what happened. So please be nice to me.
I am new to sex, and technically i am a virgin meaning that i never had a sexual penetration with someone, i grew up in the middle east so it’s kind of the norm over here.
Anyway. I met this british guy months ago through dating app and we been talking on &off. we met couple of time in public place only, yesterday he invited me to his place for the first time, i wasn’t planning to have sex but i couldn’t resist, once he kissed we couldn’t stop. Anyway once he undressed me and went down for me he tride to penetrate but i couldn’t and i kept moving and closing my legs so he stopped trying and went down again then we tried to penetrate again but we changed the position where he set on the couch so i would set on top. But it didn’t work because of me. He was so nice and sweet and whenever we had any tension he would go down for me and that was so satisfying.. i mean im used to masturbate all the time anyway.
when he set again on the couch so i could be on top it didn’t work again, he was exhausted and stopped. so i started masturbating on his thigh..like i was rubbing my clit against it and I don’t know why i did that i feel so sick just thinking of it. I am used to masturbate using a pillow but it’s not the same. I feel so terrible like ive used him or something. Hes so sweet and nice guy.. he texted me right after i left his place and kept texting today but i feel so embarrassed like i need time to forget what happened and I don’t know what to do ?
29 comments
Try not to worry, I bet he thought it was hot:)
I’m sure he’s ok with it
As a woman, it feels great to just rub against or on things. I joke with my SO about wanting to ride his bicep. Don’t worry about it. He probably thought it was hot too.
As a man who I think has been ghosted for this reason in the past; please don’t. If you’re embarrassed, just talk to him, tell him you feel bad that you think you used him, give him a chance to give his impression of the situation. It sounds like he’s a decent guy who thinks about your comfort and pleasure, that’s a lot to throw away over a slightly uncomfortable conversation that will quickly resolve everything.
He sounds like he wanted to please you so you should be fine
My wife did this to me once. It was incredibly sexy and she has a standing offer to do it again should the mood strike. If he’s still willingly communicating with you not only shouldn’t you be embarrassed he probably enjoyed it.
I also grew up in a conservative religion, and was constantly told that engaging in masturbation was selfish, and that some sexual acts as just using other people for selfish pleasure. It took years to get over those beliefs.
There is nothing wrong with what you did. All evidence points to this guy enjoying your time together, and having a strong desire to please you. And being pleased by someone who wants to please you is not selfish.
You’ll probably get some comments from women about this too: masturbating against a guy’s thighs can be very erotic and enjoyable. I’ve had a few women, who were not virgins and who I was having sex with, do exactly what you just described. It’s a fun and pleasurable activity.
And look at it another way, would you feel guilty if he had fingered you until you climaxed? What’s the different between a finger and a thigh? It’s just another body part.
Talk to him. Tell him what you’re feeling. He sounds like a good guy who will understand and reassure you. And if he doesn’t, that’s ok too. You did nothing wrong.
There’s no reason to be embarrassed actually he should be honored that you did that if I were in his shoes I would have grabbed you and picked you up so you could grind yourself on my mouth
He loved it. Trust me. He’s texting you still because he’s in yo you and wants it again.
I do this with my boyfriend all the time, he thinks is hot and I bet your guy also thought that
Stop overthinking. I’m sure he is ok with that. Do something else for him instead of ghosting. Penetration can wait.
Don’t worry at the least he thought it was hot asf
a girl i was seeing didn’t want penetrative sex, she literally just went on top, rode me until she came. we were both naked. It was so f-en hot. Don’t worry about it, trust.
That is so sweet.
Don’t feel ashamed, if he didn’t like it he would have told.
Honestly as a guy that sounds pretty great. Don’t overthink it and communicate with him. I’m sure he loved it
I’ve done this with my ex partner so many times. I just love it and he found it very hot! No shame!!
If you did that to me I’d be hoping you’d call again
He knows you are inexperienced, and IS willing to work with you. He was patient and caring.
Trust me (because anonymous strangers on reddit are the perfect people to trust… 🙂 ), He loved that even after being unsuccessful at intercourse, you got off.
Call him back, and talk. Tell him you want (if you do) to keep trying.
Oh, no. Don’t worry. I do the same with my boyfriend, I hump his leg all the time and he humps mine. Sometimes as a joke, and sometimes because we are genuinely horny. It’s a lot of fun!
I understand that it might be embarrassing, but please don’t ghost him! From the sounds of it, he enjoyed himself and was continually trying to be attentive to your needs. Not saying he is Mr right, but he clearly seems to like you. Embarrassment is short lived, but finding a sexual partner who also cares for your needs is a wonderful thing. Fight the embarrassment and just keep talking to him. Best thing you can do is communicate what your feeling/thinking
My boyfriend thinks it’s really hot when I ‘use’ him to masturbate. Many men do.
Just talk to him and tell him you feel. Tell him you’re embarrassed and inexperienced. Ghosting him because of this could send the completely wrong message.
I don’t think you did anything wrong. However, I think you should practice communicating a little more because it’s always better to be proactive and ask what’s ok and what isn’t than to be left wondering if you’ve fucked up. He also should have asked before trying penetration rather than waiting for you to physically reject him. You also have every right to verbally express what you do and don’t want to do.
I purposely do this to my boyfriend because he thinks it’s really hot… To each their own but I would bet money that he probably liked it.
Don’t ghost him. I’m sure he loved it. I sure would have.
You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You’re new to this whole thing and there’s going to be a learning curve. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Grow and learn about your sexuality. As a guy I can tell that it pleases me to know I got a woman off no matter how I did it. Don’t ghost this guy and be patient with yourself.
If a girl did that to me Id probably DIE bro that’s HOT not embarassing!! Honestly, seeing the other person enjoying themselves during any kinda intimate session is ALWAYS such a turn on – he probably wanted you so much more in that moment, I would definitely not stress you’re all good angel!
Also, I remember losing my virginity/doing the dirty for the first time and the weirdness and sickness I felt after it (society wrongfully teaches you that it’s dirty) and im glad I can now look back and know that time passes and you’ll soon learn it’s all normal and good ❤️
Definitely communicate with him about how you feel around sex and maybe that you’re not ready for penetrative sex yet, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! Eg I had a few month long relationship and we never had sex because I wasn’t ready and a good person respects that 🙂
To summarise, it’s probably the hottest thing he’s ever experienced and you’re all good and Gucci sis ❤️
From a guy’s perspective, he seems like one to keep around especially if you’ve never had much sexual experience. He never pressured you for more and he always went down on you to keep you revved up when there was some frustration. A lot of guys would disregard how you feel and what you want.
Odds are he found it extremely arousing. I tempted to believe you getting off on his thigh is going to be a very good memory for him that he can use to masturbate later while thinking of you. One for the spank bank as they say.
this happened to me and it was hot. BRING BACK DRYHUMPING.