My classmates, even the ones whom I consider as my friends don’t want to sit next to me. They either outright avoid me or find some excuse when i ask them to sit with me. I’m (21M) not super charismatic or witty nor do I have any interesting stuff to tell. Below average looks wise. I’ve never done anything consciously to offend anyone. Sometimes i tried to have banters with them but it always becomes awkward. I’m in a situation where i don’t know what’s wrong nor does anyone tell me what’s wrong with me. I know I’m not good socially but does everyone have to be super good and charismatic to even have friends?
9 comments
It’s one of two things:
1) bad breath
2)bad body odour/poor hygiene
To be fair there’s a chance it could be your clothes ? Like old/wet smell ? Last but unlikely your shoes ?
It’s really the only reasons that multiple people would avoid you like this
If people you consider friends don’t want to sit next to you, they may not be good friends. I would keep trying to talk to different people! You’ll find someone you jive with more than others. Maybe there’s someone else in that class looking for someone to sit with you haven’t noticed before!
You need new friends.
Do you have a pet/pets, could be a problem.
I had a classmate with cats, a lot and he smelled.
Maybe someone started a rumor about you and they alienate u on purpose?
Sitting next to someone generally means youre comfortable enough with them to have a conversation with them. You feel that youre not witty, interesting and try to banter but it always ends awkwardly. This could be exactly why people dont want to sit next to you, not many people enjoy putting their selves into awkward situations.
Everyone is capable of interesting convo if they try enough, you just need the practice. What do you do outside of school? Work on a hobby, learn about interesting stuff and develop a passion or goals, thats the first step towards having interesting things to talk about. Practice socializing at work and if theres no chance to, try volunteering somewhere or joining a club at your school. Just practice wherever you can. I was extremely awkward and taciturn during convos, practice is the only thing that has gotten me to the level where people think Im a naturally bubbly sociable person lol
Below avarage looks is the problem
You’re there to learn first and foremost, man. Sitting alone in a college lecture is no big deal and it doesn’t mean that people don’t like you. Maybe you just haven’t connected with anyone yet and that’s fine, you will eventually if you keep chatting with people.
I think the secret to being charismatic and getting friends is to do what I call the youtuber voice the super energetic charismatic voice that youtubers like Mr Beast have try practicing in the mirror just loudly saying an intro something like “Hey Guys welcome back to another video and in this video we’ll be [insert something random]” and when talking to people say before you think and try having your voice naturally flow out of your mouth and be energetic and show interest in the other person asking them all sorts of questions without being too overbearing and that’s the best advice I can think of goodluck