What I mean is never poke fun at her mistakes or quirks because there’s a risk that she will be offended and turned off. I’m on the autism spectrum and prefer to play it safe by getting to know someone.
Can sexual tension and attraction come from physical appearance, rather than y’know, being an extroverted, witty, goofy, laugh-at-yourself, Jerry Seinfeld (or Pete Davidson), type of person? That’s not my nature. I don’t make funny faces in front of people, I prefer long, honest talks to get to know someone.
3 comments
OF COURSE!
Not everyone is the type to tease, or like being teased. Perhaps you’re even demisexual, or needing to know someone well in order to develop sexual attraction towards them.
Hi there OP. So, this reply might derail, but I’ll do my best.
I’m on the spectrum too, and to this day I haven’t the foggiest what ‘flirting’ is all about. Clearly some shit is playing out there in between verbal coms, but beats me what, how and where.
I used to be really big, like 300lb ish after some nasty PTSD shit, but eventually overcame that. Now I’m just an average 6ft2, 210lb nerd with a heavy comedic feel and a warped sense of self.
I never dated until I was like 30ish (went out drinking to die at 18 and didn’t come back for 12 years). I thought it was like kinda not OK to involve someone with a messed up MFer with a deathwish, so didn’t bother.
Now, 33 yo, women legit find me funny, attractive and likeable and I DO NOT KNOW WHY. I’m not trying, ‘cause I wouldn’t know how, but that sincere incompetence plays of as genuine – which I guess is kinda true tbh.
My point – hang in there. It’ll happen. Just don’t force it – the other way around it’ll fall out in your favor.
Your perfect match is out there. Not all women want a “funny guy”. In fact, it can sometimes be off-putting because it can get in the way of a deep connection if everything is all laughs all the time. I’m on the spectrum too. Newly diagnosed. I’m 21(F) and never had a real long term relationship before. Currently in a “situationship” of my own and I empathize with you. It is really hard to navigate dating when you’re on the spectrum, even on the “high functioning” (I HATE that term) end of it. Even things like how/when to wear lingerie is so confusing for me. Do you leave the room to put it on if it doesnt work under your clothes? My point is, you aren’t alone in feeling a little lost in the dating and relationships realm.