I am feeling unsupported by my boyfriend

I (29F) am feeling unsupported by my boyfriend (37M) of 3 years. I am stuck in a miserable job that I hate while trying to grow my side hustle and am spiraling into a depression over how toxic my workplace is. My boyfriend tells me “Just quit if it’s that bad” but I only have about 3 months of my own personal expenses saved up and I’m spending money like water because he has not helped me pay for anything in almost six months and all of our bills have skyrocketed.

He has his own business and it has been struggling since COVID. He has recently hired new employees, moved into a new office space, and bought new equipment. He tells me that he has been unable to cash his last 5 paychecks because they are behind on billing. He told me the same several months ago. So here I am, paying for everything. Home owner’s insurance, electricity, groceries, household goods, and vet bills. I have spent close to $500 this month alone on vet bills because we just recently rescued a puppy that we thought had health issues. I am spending WAY more than I am making and I make good money for where we live and what I do.

I have been trying to be supportive because I know his business took a hit and he works 12+ hours most days, but I cannot keep going as it is. He recently bought and flipped a piece of real estate and I know he made ½ of my average yearly salary on that alone. When I mentioned that to him, he stated “I did not make that much, you just have no f\*cking clue.”

He sold his office building back in 2020 (and I begged him not to because it was paid for and had an apartment on site where he lived), so he has been living with me since then and I live an hour away from where he works. So he commutes 2 hours a day and often doesn’t get in until 8-9pm (last night it was midnight) and he works most weekends.

Because of all of those reasons, he is tapped out mentally and emotionally. When I try to talk to him about problems, he tells me he “loves me, but does not care because he has too much on his plate right now” and that I’m “selfish for trying to dump problems on him.”

Our sex life has also been lacking lately. We had been in a rut for over a year (only having sex about once every 6 or so weeks) and I couldn’t take it. Then it picked back up around April of this year and we were having sex 2-3x a week. And now it’s been over a month since the last time we had sex.

On top of all of this, I am the only person who does household chores. So I work a full-time job, work a side hustle, and am the one who does all the laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, yard work, and deals with the animals. I cannot sustain this. I know that if I could quit my job, I could scale my side business within six months and be making MORE than what I currently make at work + side hustle, but I can’t do that when I’m hemorrhaging money.

Am I being selfish?

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TLDR; Boyfriend quit helping me pay for bills/necessities six months ago. I am hemorrhaging money and stuck in a toxic, unfulfilling job that he tells me to quit but I can’t afford to. All while I know I could scale my side business and make at least 2x what I’m currently making if I had the time/savings. His business is struggling and he says he hasn’t paid himself in months because they are behind on billing which is why he can’t help me with money. He also is mentally and emotionally tapped out so when I try to talk to him about my problems, he says “I love you, but I have too much going on to think about that” and then calls me selfish for trying to dump my problems on him. I’ve been trying to be supportive but I cannot sustain this much longer. Am I being selfish?