Just as the question indicates, I have what I consider to be my best friend be a pushy person when it comes to alcohol. For the most part, we usually hang out to talk about life and other stuff but always end up drinking, and I end up drunk.
This is something that’s frustrating me a lot, since I don’t really want to get drunk. I just wanted a casual drink. However, I consider him to be quite pushy for me to drink whenever I’m with him. I know that I can just say no, but whenever we start drinking, I seem to want to more.
Saying no to him is quite hard for me when I’m already a few drink in. But instead of just avoiding him, I want to understand how to stand up to him without sounding insulting.
Alcohol is not the issue, as I’m able to control my use whenever I’m not with him. So my question is, how can I properly say no to someone close? I don’t want to fully distance myself from him, but more control the situation for myself.
3 comments
Tell him it’s a huge turn off when he keeps asking you to drink. And give him a disgusted look.
Pushy is unattractive, so act like it.
Next time your friend offers you a drink just tell him you’ve had enough and are already feeling it.
>I want to understand how to stand up to him without sounding insulting.
Thing is, “no” or “no thanks” or “I’ve had enough” **isn’t insulting.** If he *gets* insulted, that’s him being thin skinned or immature or manipulative, and is not your problem. If you politely say “no” to somebody and they get mad and make a massive deal about it and guilt you into changing your no to a yes…is that person really a friend? A friend might have a discussion about it, but ultimately they’ll understand, they’ll accept that of course you have the right to say no, and recognise in the grand scheme of things it’s a triviality.
So you recognise that your feelings matter, your needs matter, what you want is just as important as what he wants, and his feelings are not your responsibility.