My bf(M25) and I (F21) have been together for 3 years. I love him so much and he’s is genuinely the most amazing guy on the planet. Unfortunately, I am not satisfied in bed. Last year we had sex maybe 10 times and I finally told him I couldn’t do it any longer and that I need sex. He doesn’t think sex isn’t important and I do. This year things have gotten better but he cums fast and doesn’t finish me off. He gives me bad head. His dick is really nice and it feels good, but I’ve never finished. He’s selfish in bed and will cum fast and just go to bed. He’s never horny like I am. I’m just so unsatisfied and frustrated. It’s annoying because almost all guys are horny and want to fuck, but not him. He doesn’t need sex, he doesn’t even jack off. I’m 21 and horny and just want some mind blowing sex. I genuinely don’t think I can find another guy like him. He really is the most amazing but with bad sex. I’ve already talked to him about me being unsatisfied but him giving me more dick (but only him cumming) is what he calls fixing it. I genuinely don’t know what to do!
10 comments
Have you talked to him about it???
I could never be happy in a relationship with bad sex. I may love a person but that would not be enough to keep me content. I would grow resentful and bitter. It’s perfectly acceptable to move on and find someone you are compatible with. You deserve to be satisfied and there is someone out there waiting to please you.
>He doesnt think sex is important and I do.
No matter what it is in the relationship, if one partner thinks something is really important and the other doesnt, it will always be a major source of conflict if neither is willing to compromise for the other.
Inherently, i dont think bad sex is worth breaking up as long as partners are understanding and want to improve or find ways to make things pleasurable even if it takes time to get there. The commitment to get there together is whats more important in holding the relationship together.
But if one partner doesnt think its important, doesnt want to do it, disregards how important it is to their partner, and wont put any effort in, I’d 100% break up.
I would be miserable, unsatisfied, and feeling like my partner disregards something i value for the rest of my life.
Tht is no way to live.
If you really want to make this work with him you need to sit him down, not before or after youve had sex, and have a serious conversation about this and about your needs and what is acceptable and unacceptable. Youre going to have to be able to talk out every aspect with him and ask him his thoughts and willingness to do more.
Then evaluate from there.
You’ve talked to him and tried to fix things however he has resisted these attempts and still fails to recognize your feelings.
It is indeed time for you to move on. You have rose colored glasses on regarding how great he is because you’re still actively in love with him. If he truly was “the most amazing guy on the planet” would he be dismissing your pleas to help fix your damaged relationship?
If you’re in college hopefully you get to spend your senior year having some great, wild sex before settling down instead of going through another year watching your friends enjoy life as you sit at home unsatisfied.
Respectfully, I see two issues here…
The first is sexual incompatable partners in both frequency and mechanical aspects/techniques.
Second, “Mind Blowing Sex” is completely subjective, its between your ears. Being satisfied with sex is about 25% the action and 75% between your ears, what you ‘Believe’ sex should be like.
You have mentally devalued the current partner to the point he couldn’t recover in your mind no matter what.
Think it over and make a decision, the longer you wait the more you will devalue your current partner and resentment will build.
Sex makes up at least 50 % of a relationship for me. Without that connection its basically totally pointless in my eyes. Thats why most of my LTR have started as hook ups or casual because you need to establish early on if your click sexually as well as on a romantic level
I think so, particularly if they are selfish. You are always at some risk of pregnancy. Why risk that for a guy who can’t be bothered to please you ?
yes
I also agree with many of the comments.
Its almost sounds like your giving excuses for him and justifying his behavior of not taking your needs seriously.
I would suggest opening your relationship on the account that you both are okay with that, or leave him.
It sounds like sex is important to you (which is completely okay) and I would highly advise you stop compensating yourself with a “great guy” when he’s not that great because you guys aren’t as compatible.
You’re 21, literally 21… I would definitely separate for awhile and experience what kind of sex you enjoy and what kind of things you want in a sexual partner.
I’m only saying this though because he seems incredibly dismissive of something you’re very passionate about.
You’re right though, you won’t find another guy like him, you’ll probably find better tbh.
It is a completely valid reason to break up, sexual compatibility is very important to a lot of people. You’ve told him your frustrations and if he can’t fix that ( which he easily can, just sounds like he puts no effort into it ) then I’d leave