I had this plan to travel Europe for leisure before we started dating but plans were canceled due to Covid. Now the trip is back on and I leave in a weeks time! He usually says positive things about it apart from one comment saying he would prefer me to stay. I want to reassure him that there’s nothing to worry about and that I’m coming home to him. I was thinking of making a little “things to do when my gf ditched me for Europe” hamper or something, what can I put in it?? How can I reassure him without accusing him of not trusting me? Thanks for your help
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If you make a basket, be sure to put positive affirmations of your love in each day.
Maybe change the name unless he can take the tongue in cheek approach!
Does he not trust you? If he trusts you, then it’s irrelevant if anyone hits on you. Because he would know that you are not interested.
I think you can gently point that out without accusing him.
Regardless, you’d planned the trip prior, go and have a good time. His response will tell you where your relationship is headed. Have fun!
Why is he worried about it? Is it a safety concern for him or is he worried about infidelity?
If he’s worried about infidelity, I’d just recommend, as hard as it might be, to be consistent with your communication. Talk to him about what his expectations are as far as that goes and just stick to it. I was always worried when they’d call me to say good night and then they’d essentially ghost me one night. Which just made me spiral coming up with scenarios that I was making up.
Aside from being worried about cheating, he might be worried about your safety or someone taking advantage of you, he might also just be really sad that he’s not going to see you for 6 weeks, or he might be worried that you discover you don’t miss him while you’re gone.
The problem is if he did have something to worry about you would say and do the exact things you said and are planning to do.
There is no controlling that. If you guys are meant to be, it will be.
You have pretty much full-coverage WiFi throughout Europe and you can facetime and stuff… he should be happy for you and end of story… wanting you to stay (even if mentioned as a side not) is a red flag to me, a small one but nevertheless.
He’s a grown up and just send him postcards. 6 weeks is not 6 years… stop worrying about HIM not trusting you. Trust in yourself and have a great time. He’s 28 not 8…
Can I suggest you don’t refer to it as a ‘girlfriend ditching me for Europe’ basket. How about a ‘Don’t forget how much I’m going to miss you basket’.
What are the details of this trip. Are you travelling solo or in a group? If the latter is the group only women or is it mixed? If it’s mixed then he may be worried about other guys hitting on you even if he trusts you. If the former then he may be worried about your safety.
Have you given him a copy of your itinerary? That’s just safe travel practice 101. If not him, I hope you’ve given it to someone, family member or friend.
You don’t say how long you’ve been together. If you’ve been dating for a while now and this is the first time you’re going to be apart for any length of time then he may be apprehensive about that. Did you discuss changing travel arrangements so he could come with you? It may not have been possible. Or you may just have wanted ‘me’ time which is ok. But if you didn’t consider it at all he may be bummed about that.
Ultimately, I suggest sitting and talking it out. Ask him about why he’d prefer you not to go and based on his answers reassure him the best way you can. Oh and make sure to remind him it cuts both ways. As much as you want to reassure him it’s him you’re coming home to, that you want to be reassured he’s going to be there to come home to.