I had this *friend* of mine. She was just a friend to me at the start. As time goes by, I developed feelings for her because of the ff:
* she **was** always available to talk
* she always shares stories with me, about her day, her struggles
* she always listens to my rants, stress, and everything I want to share, I was an open book to her
* we talk via call most of the time since she lives far from my home, and most of the time, we start at 11 pm and end at 3 am or 4 am.
* she once asked me to go out which was very rare for me to get invited to go out, that was the Christmas season
* we once go to one of the special places in our capital city, we took a lot of pictures, we ate good food, actually my favorite food, and we took a lot of pictures, and to add, we also held our hands, she didn’t say anything, I thought that she was fine with it because **she held back**. I got that feeling that she was my girlfriend and I was her boyfriend.
Above all these things, she was perfect for me, she is very kind, thoughtful, beautiful, and caring. I can say all positive things about her but I can only point out one bad thing. The bad thing was us, it was never clear what the hell is up.
Yesterday, we met, to clear things up. She said that I was just a friend, like a brother. She explained everything very well and was very calm. She doesn’t like me, literally nothing. She told me that all of our *going-out moments were* not a date. And now, everything was gone, she doesn’t talk to me anymore.
Even though I got all the clarity I need, this made me feel nothing now. I don’t understand, and I feel that I am so stupid.
To add some context, I graduated college 2 years ago, and she is graduating this academic year, I helped her in their capstone project, and I redeveloped one of my information systems for her and their group, and it is now done, they got good remarks for that. I mentored her through this project and this was my decision.
Was I really stupid? I will appreciate any advice.
I do not hate her for this, I really love her even though she rejected me.
2 comments
This is why communication is so important. It sounded a lot like a normal friendship to me in your description but if you felt it was more you should have talked to her about it sooner before you built it up in your head to be this big thingbthat it wasnt.
Feelings happen. You can’t control it. Me though, I’d never admit a crush. At 50, it’s never gone different than how you described it.