Curvy Women of reddit, what made you pass your insecurities for being on top during sex?

35 comments

  1. The absolute look of adoration on his face at the idea. His giddy want for it made it feel less scary.

  3. Initially, I did it out of “fairness” because I felt guilty for making him do all the work all the time.

    But then I realized that, when I was on top (and in control of the angle/speed/depth), I could come just from penetration. I really like those orgasms, so that kind of keeps me going even when I’m not feeling super-confident.

  5. My current boyfriend absolutely adores my body. He is the first person I have ever been with that I believe is telling the truth. The fact that he is so into me makes a difference. I was super nervous the first time to get naked with him because he is a beanpole. But his reaction when I did so was well worth it.

  6. I’ve never been insecure. They knew I was big when they wanted to have sex with me.

  7. At one point I just realised that if I’m at the point with someone where we’re enthusiastically having sex with each other then they don’t just know what my body looks like but they’re also very into it.

    I’ve never judged somebodies body while shagging them and I have never been given any real reason to think they would be judging me – was a real eye opener to realise and my sex life has improved so much.

    Confidence has to come from within, it’s not fair to put the responsibility of dealing with personal insecurities on someone else because they’ll never be able to make you believe them, especially if you hate yourself.

    Edit: spacing

  9. Realizing he already knows I’m fat. For some reason I felt uncomfortable that he’d realize I’m fat when I’m on top. Then when I dug deeper I realized how silly that was. Plus, if he dies, he dies.

  10. It’s already too late if I’m on top. All they can see is boobs – who’s gonna object to that?

  14. I’m past the stage now of being insecure and uncomfortable about my weight during sex. The guy knows I’m curvy and if his hands are all over me then it makes me feel damn pretty sexy. I guess I’m too busy trying to have a good time and to orgasm. So I dont really care about how I look or sound

  16. Getting some leg muscles made me really good at it, and it feels better for me.

  17. Pure selfishness. It feels so good so I just started going for it. They already know I’m fat. Presumably we’re naked while this is happening.

  18. Two things:

    -My breasts are one of the parts of my body that I’m not insecure about, and being on top put them on display.

    -Sex was generally better for me while on top.

  19. It feels really good! And, if someone is having sex with me, they’re aware of my shape. It’s not something I can hide from. So I don’t.

  21. I started having sex with people who made me feel good about myself. If they can’t make me feel good out of the bedroom I don’t have sex with them.

    It also helped when I started dating other women. I’ve always had a negative self image, but dating women my size and larger I realised I thought they were sexy as hell and never thought twice about their size. Knowing how I saw them made it much easier to realise that I too am sexy.

  22. Casual sex, meaning I was not trying to impress them as much. And then the positive feedback created a loop 🙂

  23. I started asking myself some important questions:
    Why the fuck don’t I deserve to feel good too? Why don’t I deserve to have fun and get wild? Why does my weight mean that I should deserve less and restrict myself?

    Naaah. If they don’t want to see my fat belly jiggling around then they shouldn’t be fucking me!

  24. Kinda just wanting to enjoy my time with them and my boyfriend likes my boobies so 🤷‍♀️. But he kinda prefers to be on top which I’m ok with because I’m pretty bad at riding.

  25. By the time we get to that place they know me well and I know them and like… I work out every day. Ain’t got any insecurities

  26. A human is wanting to touch you, love you and embrace you, why would you deny them the ability to do that simply because you dont like what you look like (which most of us are delusional about anyways) They see what you look like and they want to be all up in it, so let the fun be had. A woman would pass on the chance to have amazing sex because SHE doesn’t like the way she looks, even though some man has been fantasizing about being with her. No matter what size you are, we are all entitled to love, great sex and to feel good. Woman tend to punish themselves and think ” when I’m thinner or look better I’m allowed to feel good ” like seriously fuck that. Its such unhealthy thinking. If you can’t fully embrace it, then set the tone so YOU feel good whether that’s with lights dimmed, music, an outfit etc and if your man what’s the lights on so he can see all of you, then believe him ! He wants to see you, so stop hiding

  27. My husband has always reminded me of how much he loves my body and says that I have the perfect thick girl body so obviously I’m gonna have some extra around my belly but the pure love he shows to every part of my body makes me even for confident in myself.

  29. I’ve dated some real assholes but not one of them has ever made me feel bad about my body or like they were anything but happy to see me naked so I didn’t really know to be insecure in a sexual setting. And now that I’ve had more time to think about it, I know I love and want my boyfriend no matter his size so I deserve the same thing.

  30. I looked up tips on how to be more comfortable ( use pillows/sway instead of bounce) and that helped immensely. realizing i dont have to do the porn poses and ” look sexy ” , but rather just make sure it feels great for us both! And he kept reassuring me it was fine :3

  31. Honestly this sounds harsh, but I don’t think you should be having sex with anyone if you feel insecure with them. They don’t deserve to see you that way if you even feel like they could be looking at you negatively.

  32. Realizing how hot I must look to him. My ex always said outside of sex how much he liked my big wavy hair, plump tits and thick hips. I had an epiphany one day of “wait I look good naked, it’s clothes that distort how my body actually looks, not my body makes clothes weird” so now the only thing stopping me from being on top is if the guy holds me down instead 😈💓

  33. Actually having a partner who was willing to explore how to ride (so that it felt good for me). Prior to that I felt so insecure about how I looked, if it was good, my legs getting tired, etc. but after having someone patient (and not so serious; sex is fun!!) enough to explore with me, it was a wrap. Now Idgaf, imma get on top because “my orgasm is my responsibility” 😉

  34. I’m a little overweight but i was told by two previous partners that they’ve never had a girl on top last longer than a few minutes. They thoroughly enjoyed it when i put in work for an extended time. It feels good to be praised for the amount of time i can last on top. And i like that i can use them to get off if they’re feeling a little tired. Everybody gets a happy ending!

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