How would you want to be told that you stink, reeking of fish/halitosis/sweat?

9 comments

1. Definitely not with the words “stink” or “reek”.

2. I would want someone to hand me a napkin to sneeze in so that I could smell if I smelled bad. Sweat, make a note that they don’t look too good in the heat and should bathe to cool off.
   Fish: “Whoowee, did someone go fishing?”

3. I would not be opposed to being politely and privately told that I had an odor, unless it was normal day-to-day sweat, because right now where I am it’s very hot outside and everyone is sweating.

4. With compassion. You don’t know what’s going on in someone’s life–if they lost their house or got kicked out, if they haven’t had access to toiletries in a minute, if they’re struggling with some hormone imbalance or other health issue, etc. “Hey, is everything okay for you lately? How can I help you? Do you need to talk?”

5. I actually had to do this for a client one day. I wound up saying “I’m operating on the assumption that if you had a booger hanging out of your nose, you’d want someone to tell you, right?” When he said “of course! Oh god is there something in my teeth?” I said, “there’s a bit of an odor problem – do you think you could be freshly showered and use deodorant next time you come in?” And it worked!

6. Quietly.

7. [removed]

8. If you google it managers and HR people and teachers have to deal with this all the time. You can find exact wording depending on your circumstances. But, like, if this is a friend or family member, “I’d like to talk to you about your hygiene” and “expectations about bodily odors”, frequency of showers, and expected products (soap, shampoo, antiperspirant, tooth brush/paste, comb/pick/brush) are all on the table.

9. Check in on me. A lot of the time, when someone’s hygiene is lacking, its due to a mental health struggle. Could also be an issue with their washer, or plumbing or whatever. Ask if they need help in some way.