Dry humor = will not appreciate your puns. Or dad jokes. Or limericks.
Follower of Christ = If you’re an atheist it’s a dealbreaker. If you’re agnostic it’s a challenge. If you’re jewish…well it’s going to be rough.
ACAB = at least one minor arrest
Open = complicated
Poly = more complicated
ENM = complicated with a specific series of rules and lingo. Like the competitive debate world of free range sexuality
I want to see where it goes with no expectations = I have expectations and have been disappointed in the past by stating them so now I’m keeping them to myself. But you’ll find out about them when they appear unconsciously.
NFT investor = credit score under 700
Gooooo (NAME OF SPORTSTEAM) = Uses fandom to replace interests. You’ll notice it even more in the offseason.
More than 20 emojis in profile = texting with them is a nightmare
Flips a middle finger in their pics = has been cut off at the bar at least once
likes to have stimulating conversations = you’re about to join a two person book club
Good vibes only = you may be rejected by someone with really good skin for being a taurus
Your mom will love me = has manners but uses it to cover for a lack of connection with YOU
Workplace listed as ‘my house’ = Only 10% of the time is this covering for a really good profession they’re trying not to brag about
Let’s not waste each others’ time = that first date is going to be an interrogation. Hydrate.
Extroverted Introvert = Really an introvert
Introverted Extrovert = Nope. STILL an introvert
One emoji and nothing else as a profile = No commitments. Orders a lot of doordash.
No trump supporters = no trump supporters. Also you better be registered to vote.
Title listed as ‘Founder’ = Personality is 70% work and 30% everything else and needs you to KNOW that
Currently live in (COUNTRY) but coming to you soon = I mean yes but on 90 Day Fiancee. Do you want to be Big Ed in this equation?
Asian with more than one golf visor pic or tennis photo = she’s in China
420 friendly = minimum of two edibles a week
Not interested in games = will try to guess your phone password jkjkjkjk…only not
Old Fashioned Type = You’re going to eat a lot of Italian food on white tablecloths and drink merlot
Vaccinated, you should be too = pays their parking tickets
Proudly unvaccinated = might have stormed the capitol
If you’re under XX height, swipe LEFT = You want to swipe left here. For YOU.
Low-key, mid, sus, shook, feels, Adulting = not ready for a relationship. Or grammar.
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“Don’t take yourself too seriously”- My point of view will always be more important than yours and I won’t care about your feelings.
“Loves to travel”- travels maybe twice a year, but definitely doesn’t want kids
“Active lifestyle”- I THINK I’m in fantastic shape and you’d better not be fatter than me