I (44f) have been in a relationship for about a year and half, we have been living together for about a year. I love him (44m), and we get along great. I just feel like I rushed way to fast into this. When we got together I was newly out of a long term relationship. I know, I know I didn’t follow the rules to give myself time to allow healing. He moved in with me, and gave up his apartment and all of his stuff since I had my own. If I ask him to move out until I get myself figured out he would be leaving with nothing. Which I feel terrible about since I do love him and I am not sure that I do or don’t want to be with him. I am confused and I don’t think it really has much to do with him, I think that I am still having trouble moving on from my previous relationship.
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TL;DR – Should I ask him to move out even know he will have nothing, or do I just deal with the issues as they come my way since I am ultimately happy, just didn’t allow myself much needed healing time?
3 comments
>I know I didn’t follow the rules to give myself time to allow healing.
It’s beyond that, not only did you not give yourself time, you also moved in after only 6 months. Do you have impulsivity issues or issues with being alone?
>If I ask him to move out until I get myself figured out
You can’t do that to someone. You can’t say move out “until you figure yourself out”. You can’t set up someone to be waiting in perpetuity without a timetable. If you ask him to move out, you’re asking for a permanent breakup.
>and I am not sure that I do or don’t want to be with him.
If you’re not sure whether or not you want to be with someone, you don’t want to be with that person.
Are u a shelter for stray men?
He sounds like my ex. couldn’t wait to move in. he trapped me. so I couldn’t easily dump him. I could wait on him to serve his needs.
Don’t settle. u’ll waste years of ur life.
tolerating an inept man. spineless and dependent. He makes u feel responsible for him.
That ain’t love. He ain’t a puppy.
They pick out vulnerable females to prey on. He’s predatory.
I’ll help u. Pack him off. lol 😂
The dude’s 44. He can find his own way. As the other person said, you’re not a shelter for stray men. And you acknowledge where you messed up by rushing it etc. So obviously don’t do that again.