Men who are on dating apps: what makes a profile stand out to you in a positive way? What is an immediate turn-off?

17 comments

1. Also, why would you just answer questions after matching with someone (i.e. make the woman do all the work in carrying the conversation)? Is it because you just right swipe everyone and you aren’t actually interested?

2. The ones I ignore immediately are those who write what they’re not looking for, no matter anything else. After that comes poor writing. Many blank profiles have beat out these. Interesting ones have a clearly stated goal and big tits.

3. A positive way is obviously looks, and signs of her being fun and spontaneous. But I’m mostly looking for fun on there.

   If i were to look for people to seriously date and not casually, I’d look for signs that she’s intelligent and driven. Also that she’s caring. You can see those signs in things like pictures of her reading, or with her pet, stuff like that.

   Girls with group pictures on festivals who have their IG in their bio are an immediate no for me. They would be even more of a no if i was trying to date seriously.

4. Having a profile that actually gives useful information about you.

   And not “I like to laugh” or “no bad vibes plz” bullshit either.

   Hobbies, favorite media, accomplishments, notable likes/dislikes…

   Useful information for getting to know someone.

   If all you have is a couple of pictures of you at the beach, don’t be complaining that all men treat you as is a pretty face, because a pretty face is all you’re selling them.

   If you actually give something, then people reading it can find commonalities or find themselves interested in something you have to offer, aside from your body.

5. Positive for me – house or apartment in very good order with lots of great decoration. Pictures of her out at a nice dinner – especially with nice earrings. Pictures with mom and dad. Pictures at football games.

6. Positives – good photos, solo but not selfies. The more visually appealing the better. Also, idk what app it is but get freaking verified! Its crazy to me that 90% of womens profiles I come across on bumble aren’t verified. And the ones that are just have one hazy selfie with a faceful of caked on make up. Write stuff that’ll give an idea about your personality, don’t try to just sound cool (which generally comes off as fake).

   Turn offs – too demanding, toxic remarks, passive aggressiveness. Anything that implies that she’s going to expect me to do all the work rather than making this a mutual thing. “Looking for someone who can hold conversation”

   “I hope you’re mentally well adjusted”

   “Need to be financially well off”

   “Good sense of humor”

   There’s a bunch of other stuff where whats said often has a different meaning in their actual personality. There was a massive thread about it sometime ago which could be useful if you find it.

7. Clear photos, a little bit about what you like. Something original and funny always helps. Biggest turnoff is she lists requirements of a man while providing 0 substance about herself.

8. It’s been a while since I’ve been on dating apps, but I remember there were quite a few things that irked me to no end when it came to profiles:

   Swipe left if the only thing in their bio is their instagram name.

   Swipe left if their bio is blank

   Swipe left if their bio says “I’m only here because my friend made this for me.”

   Swipe left if every picture is a group picture and you cannot tell whose profile this is supposed to be.

   Just show off your personality, be honest, have fun. You can do all those things without taking the app too seriously, and those were the profiles I always had the best interactions with.

9. Ironically, having a professional looking “hot” photo of just you is a warning sign. Simply because too many scam bots just take stock photos or Facebook photos of real people. Having one photo doing something or being with other people would dispel this notion.

10. I like seeing people with passions and a clearly defined sense of who they are and what they want. Photos of you out in the world, engaged in what you find meaningful. Succinct summary of your values, goals, work, and projects, and what you are looking for in a partner or mate. I care so much less about the particulars of what that is- it could be bass fishing or jazz dancing or Christian missionary work or organizing your local coven- just have passion for the life you are living and know what tf you want.

11. Well, I fill the whole thing out. I don’t know about other men’s profiles, but there are so many profile from women that are barely filled out. A couple are just a name and some pictures. Maybe you’ll get a profile saying “I’m so bad at filling out these lol” and nothing else. You’re advertising yourself. Advertise.

    **Turn-offs**
    •For me, it’s the aforementioned partially filled out profiles.

    •Profiles that included or only have their instagram/Twitter handle.

    •sounds conceded or prideful

    •(this is a personal one) talks about how bullying you is how she shows she likes you.

    •she saying she barely use the app

    •talks about how she doesn’t like men.

    •”prove to me that…”

12. If you are a girl and are not getting inundated in matches, it just means you are either hugely obese or you are being way too picky and shooting for a guy way above your level.

13. No “take me on your boat” girls

14. Bitchy list of demands is a turn off

    But literally anything showing clear pictures and a brief description that I can respond to works

    There’s no tier

15. Some combination of an interest in philosophy, psychology, deep conversation, learning, and analysis makes me swipe right.

    Turn offs are anything cheesy and/or superficial. Hiking, The Office, dogs, mindless media consumption(memes/trash TV/etc), smoking weed, and drinking. Also, making a profile that is only goofy. I’m trying to get to know you, not buy a tocket to your stand uo comesy routine.

    It’s not an exhaustive list but a pretty good one.

16. Exhaustive list of preferences. No full length photos. Messaging rules.

17. Cleavage. As men, we always try and find a deeper meaning to why we like the woman we see. But no. Its just boobs.