I posted about this a while back but the conflict kind of snowballed…
Original post, contains a bit more background information: [https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/w03aor/conversations\_with\_boyfriend\_getting\_dry/](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/comments/w03aor/conversations_with_boyfriend_getting_dry/)
We’ve been dating for five months now and we’ve known each other since before we started dating. We’re currently not in a position where we can see each other often, so much of our interaction have been through text. For the past month, our conversations have been getting duller and duller. He’s made it clear that this has been bothering him and it’s caused conflicts that just keep reappearing.
Recently we got into a big argument because of a variety of issues building up. After we’ve both had a bit of time to think, we tried to talk it out. The main problem was that our conversations have been getting drier, and that we’re both worried that this will continue for the future. He admitted that recently he hasn’t been happy in the relationship due to this, saying that conversations should come naturally in a relationship and that we don’t need real life events to talk.
We were getting no where in the conversation so we decided to take some time apart to think and reflect. We said that this isn’t the end, but it really does feel like it. I don’t want to lose him, I still love him very much, but I’m worried for what might happen if we can’t work a solution out.
2 comments
Well i think that conversations don’t fall out of the sky. You can work at getting better. You seem like both of you are willing to work at it. Find new passions. Find new subjects. Search the internet for interesting topics. Try to analyze what works and what doesn’t. What happened when a conversation went really well and what were the conditions in the stale conversation. Do you actually still like texting? I remember my ex used to text like hours everyday and after a few months, we would only text to give us information like “i’m on my way” or “do you have this information” . We replaced the texting with something better like seeing each other or phone calls.
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There are also other ways to spice things up when you don’t have the chance to see each other often. Make plans together for when you see each other. Maybe play online games together. Have a watch party ( like watch a movie at the same time from different places ) . Some people like sending pictures of what they are doing or videos. It can be all sorts of things you are doing ( if you catch my drift… if you don’t understand, i’m talking about sex stuff lol ) .
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I’ve always felt like texting felt stale. It’s just not the best way for me to communicate. You don’t hear the tone of their voice. You don’t see if the person is crying or tired. You don’t know if the person is on edge. Same text can be send with different intentions and it can lead to misunderstanding. ” I really like this ” can mean 2 things. It can mean they like something. It can also be sarcastic and mean they really don’t and are sassy about it.
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This is a couple challenge. You seem to like each other which is why it could still work out. You have to work at it. It can also lead to regret if you don’t. If you break up without having really tried, you will live with the “what if i tried harder” thought in your mind and it won’t feel good! Hang in there! Good luck!
Rift?!? Fortnite?!?