I’m a 29 y/o female and recently I started talking to a 32 y/o male.
We hit it off so well that neither of us can believe how great it is. He is everything I ever wanted in a partner.
He currently lives 8 hours away but he’s from my town and is coming back to visit this weekend.
We’ve had some very sexually charged conversations and we are both starting to fall in love.
Yesterday he disclosed to me that he’s had partners with HPV, and he believes he’s carrying it. While his last symptoms were 2 years ago, I’m still nervous. I’ve never had vaginal intercourse but I’ve done everything else with past partners.
Is this something I should say is a deal breaker? I’m so sad I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how risky it is or how to politely tell him I can’t continue if it’s something I can get.
Thank you in advance for the advice.
7 comments
It’s a very common STD that people sometimes don’t even know if they have it. There are many strains of the human papilloma virus but only several dangerous ones. The bad ones are the ones you get vaccinated against with the Gardisil vaccine. I don’t personally think the risk of HPV outweighs me wanting to become intimidate with someone that I’m into. I say give it a shot but just do a little bit more research on the web maybe, knowledge is power! https://www.womenshealth.gov/a-z-topics/human-papillomavirus
Are you vaccinated for HPV? It prevents 90 percent of HPV that causes genital warts plus cervical cancer. There are lots of strains of HPV. The vaccine protects against the most worrisome ones.
Are you vaccinated? If so, then you are fine. If not, get it done. Also HPV is very common and many people have it or will get it.
Get the vaccine (Even though it won’t cover all strains). And practice safe sex while you decide how far you see the relationship going. Just in case you think there could’ve been oral HPV exposure check out the below:
https://mylorals.com/collections/all
>***The ubiquity of HPV***
>“The only way to fully avoid HPV is to never be sexually active,” Grace Lau, M.D., a gynecologist who specializes in HPV at NYU Langone, tells SELF. Welp. As Dr. Lau explains and as you may relate to, that’s just not realistic for many people. But because HPV spreads through skin-to-skin contact during vaginal, oral, or anal sex with someone who has the infection—even if they don’t have any symptoms—it’s hard to fully protect yourself. Unlike STIs such as chlamydia and gonorrhea, you don’t need to come into contact with bodily fluids like vaginal secretions or semen in order to get HPV. [Source](https://www.self.com/story/hpv-and-sex)
Unless this person is the first person you will ever have sex with, it’s likely you have already been exposed.
>***Limiting your exposure to HPV***
>If you’ve never gotten an abnormal Pap, positive HPV test, or genital warts, you may be wondering how to best protect yourself since HPV is so prevalent. Even if you have experienced one (or more) of those, it’s possible to get another HPV strain, which your body may or may not clear.
>That’s why it’s essential to protect yourself with these tips:
>• Get vaccinated if you haven’t already.
>• Stay on top of your Pap and HPV tests so that if you do contract HPV, you can catch it as early as possible and be aware of next steps (if any).
>• Always use condoms and dental dams, but remember that they’re better at protecting against some infections than others, which is why regular screening and STI testing are so important.
>Once you’ve got all of that covered, you’ve pretty much done all you can do. “You have to live your life,” Dr. Lau says. [Same source](https://www.self.com/story/hpv-and-sex)
hpv isnt a big deal, most people have it
but you should get the vaccine before it turns into genital warts or cancer
I asked my doctor for the vaccine and she said since I’ve done other things the vaccine may prove to be ineffective for me. I appreciate the advice. I hate to say it but I think I’d rather be safe than sorry; even if that means letting him go. 😞