I’ve had this issue with most guys I’ve dated where I’m their one emotional support/fulfillment and this means not wanting to spend time apart but I love lots of alone time and time with friends but don’t know how to not offend . Help?

9 comments

  1. Don’t say “I want space” it’s definitely off-putting because it can actually mean you’re sick of them. Not just men. Just say you need to go out with friends more and maybe he’ll just do the same thing.

  2. 1) Buy him a fleshlight
    2) Send lots of self-porn
    3) Order food for him before you go out with friends.
    4) Do not suggest we “go online and chat with others”, you’ll never see us again

    Should cover it.

  4. Be up front, honest and tactful I suppose. Could just say “hey, I have to do this but I’m going to solo this one. Don’t worry, I still like you”.

  5. At least for me, I feel like it’s easiest when you make this a topic of conversation early on: you’re someone who likes lots of independent time to themselves, whether that’s doing solo things you enjoy, or socializing with friends/others in a non-coupley way.

    This way, you’ve established it as part of who you are and what you need in a relationship, and it has nothing to do with the person you’re seeing. If your needs for space/time to yourself don’t match up with theirs for time together, you know it doesn’t work and can move on more readily than if it’s not communicated early on.

  6. I really like attention and communication. So when someone disconnected all of a sudden, I start freaking out. If you said, “hey, Hawffield, I need a little time to myself. But we’re good.” im 100% okay. I know there isn’t an issue and that eventually, we can talk again. You don’t even have to sugarcoat it or anything. No need to some long explanation on how it’s not because of some problem in the relationship. “I need some time alone, but we’re good.”

    I think people are afraid of hurting the other person’s feeling, but I feel way worse when someone doesn’t say anything to me at all.

  7. This is one of those things you need to establish right from the get go. Ideally before the emotional support system becomes a thing. But you also don’t want to say you *need* space. That just makes it sound like he’s off putting and suffocating you.

    Proactivity would do wonders here. Plan things well ahead of time : weekend #1 we hook up, week #2 I’m going into introvert mode to prepare for girls day out on the weekend, mid week #2 tell him your plans and have some sexy talk to let him know you’re on his mind and that you would like to go for a date on week #3. (not specific time lines, but you get the gist).

    Also, dunno what sort of guys you go for, but if he’s got stuff happening in his life then that’s only going to help keep him preoccupied.

  8. Learn that the phrase ‘I want space’ means ‘we’re finished’.

    If I need space from my wife I just say ‘I’m going out’ and I go out. Don’t make it ‘a thing’.

  9. You must be very young.

    Don’t worry, patience helps.

    Once you will grow older you will no longer have this problem.

    The tables will turn.

    As for me, as a man: If my partner ever tells me this it is all over. Time to look for another one.

Leave a Reply
You May Also Like