It’s as it sounds, and has been going on since we first started dating. My brother is taller than me and better looking than me, and I have always been compared to him. She always mentions how attractive he is, and makes weird jokes that essentially suggest she wants to sleep with him. Every time she makes these jokes I tell her it makes me very uncomfortable and to stop, but she always goes back to making them a few days later. Today she joked how she wanted to be his ‘step-sister’ in an obviously sexual way, and I told her never to say something like that again. I’m honestly thinking about breaking up with her because I’m starting to feel very uncomfortable about the whole thing.

48 comments

  1. Yea. Not cool. I personally would let her go. Lack of maturity and she’s hurting you with junk ass insecurity.

  2. I wouldn’t blame you, especially after telling her to stop. It sounds like she’s a bit obsessed.

  3. Yeah, there’s no amount of quality in the rest of that relationship that would make up for something like that for me. If my partner ever tells me how attractive my sister is, he’s out on his ass. Being respectful of your partner and their feelings is important in a relationship and this woman has none for you. Find someone who’s into you and not just dating you to fantasize about your brother.

  5. You could offer her a 3some with him.

    Ask her of she’s interested, that you’ll set it up.

    If she says yes, then dump her.

  6. That is absolutely inappropriate. I have many siblings, if my SO said that even once I’d be outta there.

  7. What irks me is the fact that you asked her to stop but she disregarded that and carried on knowing that it makes you uncomfortable, that’s disrespectful. Given the opportunity I think she would sleep with your brother so I don’t believe the jokes. I’d dump her, good luck.

  8. “Hey reddit, my girlfriend is constantly ~~joking about~~ saying she wants to fuck my brother. Is this a red flag?”

    Come on dude…

  9. Yeah I don’t think there’s any point trying to salvage this relationship.

    She is 100% gonna try to fuck your brother when you dump her though so be prepared for that.

  10. You told her it made you uncomfortable and she didn’t stop. Move on, it’s not getting any better from here

  11. She’s enjoying lowering your self-confidence by telling you these awful things. She’s also doing it because she knows your limits and that you won’t really do anything about it.

  12. She’s not respecting a clear boundary that you have set. Move on from this one 🚩

  14. Sorry dude, but you’re probably gonna be the best man at her and your brother’s wedding in a couple years.

  15. Your girlfriend has zero respect for you or for your relationship. She’s for the streets bro.

  16. Do you have the kind of relationship where you’re constantly joking about wanting to fuck her friends?

    If not, how do you think she’d respond to that? Yeah, that should have been your reaction all along, and the fact that you’re only “starting to feel very uncomfortable” about this is the strange part.

    (I mean, if you *are* in that kind of relationship, that’s a whole separate subject, but that feels like a safe assumption that you’re not.)

  17. I would leave… if you have said something several times it is time to leave.

    If you really want to try 1 last thing. Perhaps tell her you no longer find her attractive at all. Tell her that her callous attitude has been a huge turn off and all those comments have frankly made you feel slightly disgusted with her. See how she reacts.

    That or start making sexual comments about her family, but that is probably the petty nuclear option that I should have thought and not typed out.

  18. The specifics are secondary; if not your brother, then anyone she might compare you to unfavorably will do just as well. This is an old shopworn power game of Benefactor (her) and Supplicant (you), and a reminder that, with her, you will be the lesser of two equals.

  20. Yeah, this is not good. I dated a guy that was insecure about his brother. True, his brother was objectively better looking in the face and his muscles were more defined but I just didn’t find him attractive personally. The guy I dated was taller, bigger muscles and funny. But always setting me up to say nice things about his brother. I can’t even imagine the flip situation and you staying with her. If I had the least bit of interest in the brother, it’s time to move along.

  21. Let her go man. Immaturity. You have told her to stop repeatedly. She’s breaking your boundaries don’t hold onto someone who continues to walk over you. You deserve better

  22. Wtf, she’s clearly just waiting for him to show interest and hop on his d and leave you. This is so disrespectful, omg.

  23. Yea this screams impending doom! Drop her and put her in the rear view mirror. She may have gotten with you so she could have access to your brother. Don’t worry, you will find someone who loves you and is RESPECTFUL to you – the path to her is by getting rid of the red flag relationships until the right one comes along. Don’t try fitting a square peg in a round hole- it just won’t work.

  24. At this point I’m thinking that she is staying with you just to be close with your brother.

    Talk to your bro after breaking up, she might go after him. If your brother cares about you he will understand and deny her advances

  25. Sorry to break it to you dude but it sounds like she’s dating you as a means to an end to get with him. You should definitely dump her, you deserve someone who’s crazy about you and only you.

  31. Grow a spine and dump her. She is obviously using you to get in a bed with your brother. She has no respect for you but you should have some self respect.

  32. She wants your brother and at this stage it’s not too far fetched to believe she’s only with you so she has access to him. Don’t be anyone’s second best.

  33. When someone repeatedly ignores your stated boundaries I 100% agree a breakup is in order. It’s disrespectful and understandably might make you question if she’s more into him than you.

  36. She’s for the streets

    And wheen tounbreak uo, you know what’s going to happen.

    I think you should talk first to your brother and make him know what’s going on, why are you going to break up and what you expect from him

  37. I would break up with her too. She lacks respect and self control for your relationship. If given the chance, she might just sleep with him.

  41. She’s 100% with you to get to him.

    And she’s doing it because she likes your reaction it. She’s a fucking psycho. Run.

  42. I mean, you’ve asked her *multiple times* to cut the shit but she won’t. She’s either a major asshole or she is sooo obsessed with your brother that she just can’t help herself and keeps blurting this shit out. Neither is a happy ending for you. Just bail now and be done with it because it ain’t going anywhere good.

  44. Break up with her. I have a twin sister and if my man made sexual jokes about her, I’ll be livid. It’s totally inappropriate and she’s dismissing your feelings about the situation. It also sounds like she’ll fall on his dick, if the opportunity ever presented itself

  47. She’s been doing this since the start of your relationship; she isn’t going to stop.

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