Hey, my girlfriend and I have been going out for nearly 6 months, and so far everything’s been great,
however, my girlfriend came back from her holiday with a hickey, as in a mark on her neck that’s usually from kissing. She told me that her and her friends met up with a group of boys and her friends (all girls) said if you don’t kiss a boy, we get to give you a hickey. So she tells me she went with the hickey from her friend.
I hate this whole situation that she’s all of a sudden come back from holiday with a hickey, to be honest, this is a dumping level offense in my book if you just look at it in black and white. It makes me look stupid. All I have is her word to believe her which isn’t satisfying me and I’ve been thinking about it an unhealthy amount since she told me.
I did take her aside and I looked her in the face and said, “promise me that was your friend, and not another boy” or something along the lines, and she responded with first defensively “Oh what would you rather I have gone with the option to kiss another boy?” and then when I replied, “Who said you had to choose an option.” she says “I love you so much. I’d never do anything like that” blah blah BS.
Any advice is welcome and if you need more context on a specific part, ask away. Thanks.
40 comments
You already know, my friend. Don’t even need to advise. I wish you luck with the next one ✌️
Has she given you any reason not to trust her word on this? If not, why don’t you think she is telling the truth?
If you have a reason to think she isn’t telling the truth, then you need to have a conversation with her about that.
Assuming she is telling the truth, the next hurdle is to have an honest discussion with each other about your boundaries. Is it a problem for you if her friends give her a hickey? Would it be a problem for her if your friends gave you a hickey? You two need to discuss what “monogamy” looks like for you, and come to a common ground on it.
For plenty of people, myself included, there’s nothing inherently “a dumping level offense” about your partner coming back from a trip with a hickey and having a perfectly reasonable explanation. I wouldn’t care if my partner’s friends played this sort of game. But some people would care, and that’s fine too — you and your girlfriend need to have an honest discussion.
How old are you guys? This is really immature.
Yes, leave her. Her response is pretty mind blowing and rude
Me personally, I’d leave.
Idgaf whether it is a woman or man, friend or stranger, it’s infidelity all the same; so, even if it was just her friends, why does she think it’s all good for her to let someone give her a hickey when she has a man.
You already know you should leave bro, you can feel it.
Unfortunately all you have is her word and really it sounds like a bunch of BS. Doesn’t seem like the relationship means that much to even participate in a game like that. If she cheated she would lie anyways, also she went defensive on you, big red flag. So instead of letting a guy kiss her she let’s a female suck on her neck, either way both are just as bad.
C’mon dude. that’s clearly a lame concocted cover up story.
Trust your gut.
Haha yeah you already know she got some from another guy.
Find one of the girls you’re closest to that was on said trip and ask them what happened. If she’s a solid friend you’ll get an honest answer.
Honestly sounds like she gave you a bs story to cover up something happening.
6 months aint that long. Someone else who is trustworthy will make you a happy man in the future.
I dont believe her story either, best to just leave her.
Time to break up
You got your answer man :/
And honestly the whole thing about he friends saying if she doesnt kiss a guy they give her a hicky is one of the most immature things ive heard.
Besides the obvious lying to you, even if its true its hugely disrespectful.
Id say leave her before stuff gets worse.
If she let her friends do this to her and didn’t consider how it would tear you apart she is not worth dateing anyways. Who cares if she cheated or not because stupid and immature is just as dangerous as dishonest.
This also means the company she keeps is terrible as well. Either they encouraged her cheating or purposely set her up to hurt you. If this is who she surrounds herself with she can’t be worth it.
It always kills me when cheaters create elaborate stories that make them look just as horrible as if they had cheated. My god she is a moron either way. No offense bro, but don’t kill all your brain cells being near her. You can do better.
Does it matter who gave her the hickey? Are you comfortable with her friends giving her one?
She’s not your girl, it was just your turn with her.
Time to move on; who knows what else she got while on holiday…
My brother in Christ we all know, including you, that she got absolutely railed. She cheated on you. Go find better
Normally I’d be on the “cheated” side but given her age, I could see high school age girls doing this. A fully mature adult would simply say “no, I’m not doing either.” End of story. The question in your mind shouldn’t be whether she cheated but rather do you want to keep dating someone immature enough to be swayed by peer pressure. You might also consider the maturity of her friends. If she wants to be around girls that will encourage her to cheat, one of these times she’s going to give in to peer pressure again and actually cheat.
On top of all this, there shouldn’t have been alcohol involved given their age. Imagine what happens when she is old enough to drink?
Neither option is acceptable. Consciously putting you in this position for a stupid reason is not ok. But she’s also obviously lying, anyway.
She cheated on you, dude. You know it. Ask to check her phone, he’s probably on there somewhere. If she refuses to show it, then you have your proof.
If you continue to entertain her even after a visible proof of infidelity, you are setting your boundaries with her, that if she cheats it’s totally okay and you’re cool with it. That simply means she will do it again, and again, and again.
You know what to do. Everybody else has already told you this.
Dude. C’mon. I know what happened. You know what happened. We all know what happened. Your girlfriend is a liar and a cheater with shit friends that support and encourage it. You know what you have to do.
She’s lying like hell lmao.
That’s the stupidest lie I’ve ever heard. Dump her.
That excuse is such bs lmao. She must think you’re an idiot to actually believe it.
It is obvious what happened. End the relationship.
If her story were true, wouldn’t she have called you to tell you or filmed herself while her friend gave her a hickey?
That’s just a convoluted story.
Easy way to find out is 1st ask who was in the group. 2nd ask which one of her friends gave her the hickey. Then you text or call a different girl in the group and say did you my gf a hickey like she says. If the friend responds yea you know your gf lied. But I agree with the majority of people already and think she is lying.
She cheated on you and you know it
Yes i too like to get hickeys from my friends. Like for real i do..
She’s making a clown 🤡 out of you and you’re falling for it. Don’t be doormat my guy
Are you both 12 by any chance
I actually think if she was with other 17 year old girls this could happened – they are immature and wanted to get her in some kind of trouble – either her kissing a boy or making it seem like she did
Bruh
This is something I would expect in middle schooler to come up with, not someone who’s 17 LOL. She’s lying through her teeth.
Just saw your comment about her being 17. That makes sense. That’s high school behavior. Breakup with her and date someone your age.
Edit for clarification: to be clear i’m not implying anything about the 2 year age gap, that’s fine. However the person I was at 17 and 19 were very different. I’m 20 now and could not handle an 18 year old lol. It’s only 2 years but somehow high school v college makes all the difference. Good luck OP!
LOL – “if you don’t kiss a boy we’ll give you a hickey”. That’s an interesting (I.e. ridiculous) story
A “friend” wouldn’t give her a hickey like that if that said friend knows that she’s in a relationship with you. At this point you know what to do.
You would definitely be doing the right thing by leaving her. She sounds quite manipulative, too. You deserve someone who respects you, your boundaries and your intelligence.
Wow – I do give your girlfriend Kudos for her rather inventive cover up. I think it’s time to move on. You are young. Start trusting your gut now.
Stop dating minors for one.