21F, he’s 26M. Unfortunately this is a coworker situation.
We would talk during work and he eventually asked for my social media, which I gave. We then talked outside of work and it was fine, we were texting kinda a lot though but I didn’t mind then.
I was starting to get a little interested. As much as you can with someone you barely know. He would compliment me a lot which obviously felt nice.
Things that I wonder are red flags come in when he keeps complimenting me, and he texts me a lot. He would say things like “sorry if this is weird” “not to be forward” and just seem so clingy so soon, He told some of our coworkers including the higher ups that he thought I was cute. And apparently it’s noticeable, and it’s humiliating to me. I actually got in trouble for talking to him my last shift which made me pissed because I don’t wanna be in trouble because of this… he would try to sneak and say I’m cute at work.
I talked to him during my break and I was basically trying to voice how upset I was and how we shouldn’t rush into this. But he just seemed all “you’re pretty” “you’re cute” and not seeming to take it seriously. Just talking to him then made me lose a lot the attraction I had with him. I then texted him after work and voiced how upset I was. He said we can dial it down. I later told him I needed space and he hasn’t messaged me and only has been sending me tik toks.
It’s just such an awkward situation and I feel cornered. I feel like I can’t just tell him off and when he calls me cute I feel like I gotta say it to him.
1 comment
Ok well… I think you need to be VERY clear about your boundaries. He says things you aren’t comfortable with and it needs to stop NOW. He doesn’t seem to know how to handle himself at work or he doesn’t care which could be detrimental to both of you. If you decide to give him one more chance after setting your boundaries clearly and he does it again, this has to go to human resources. If you don’t, you will end up hating your work, hating him and probably have to leave. You can date at work but it has to not affect your work in a negative way unless you don’t care about your job. The red flag is that he’s not professional and i would see that as a sign of disrespect towards you if he keeps to not respect your boundaries.
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All of that being said, if this happens again, i would prevent it from happening on the first day a coworker asks for your personal info like social media or phone number. I would say from the start that if he wants to get to know you, it will be outside work and all the information he gets outside work are personal and that you will not tolerate any of the personal information being revealed to other coworkers. If you really really like your job, i would simply avoid dating coworkers period. If you don’t set your boundaries at work, things can escalate quickly!