Im 25M she’s 22 I’m going on a third date today and feeling a lot of anxiety over it.
I like the girl. She’s nice and we have fun for the most part. But I don’t really know if I want her to be my gf. I don’t even know if I want a gf right now. I’m at a stage in my life where I’m happy just being happy and experiencing life without a massive commitment.
The more dates we go on the more I worry about it. I enjoy hanging out with her but I feel like date 3 is a milestone that means it’s getting more serious and I’m not sure about being serious yet.
thoughts?
Tl;dr worried about my third date today
10 comments
It’s not a milestone. You go at the pace you need to. Just communicate if you’re not looking for anything serious
Why would the third date in particular be a big deal? It’s still very early stages. However, if you’ve already decided you don’t want something serious (with her), it’s best to let her know asap. I’d tell you the same if you were at the first date. If you already know what you are or aren’t prepared to bring to the table, you need to be transparent about it.
Have you had sex yet?
Just enjoy it! Don’t think about if you’re wanting to be in a serious relationship yet.
I went home from a festival with a boy, on the car ride home we chatted about how neither of us wanted anything serious. We just became best mates, fell in love and 11 years later we’re married with a three year old. It was the best. We were 19 and 22 at the time and for years we just had fun and slowly realised that we were perfect for each other. I never went into the relationship with the objective of him being my life partner.
You’re young, have some fun and be yourself. If it’s a vibe with this girl then it’s a vibe, don’t put any expectations on it to be a massive commitment or not until you’re in the place where that’s even a possibility.
Go on a chill date, enjoy having out and just get to know her. No pressure.
Have a great date!
Talk to your date about all of this, not strangers on the internet.
You need to define what you want.
nothing means anything there are no rules. if she wants to keep seeing you, keep going. take things naturally and dont force anything
IDK i guess tell her what you told us and when you start to feel like she is catching feelings just end it ASAP.
The third date is not a big deal, and the 10th date is not a big deal. It is not a big deal unless you make it a big deal. You don’t have to have that discussion now, but I would have it before things go horizontal and perpendicular. If you have a great time on your third date and she is smiling and in a good mood, tell her you had a great time and would like to get together again, but you want to be clear where your head is at. Don’t press her for a response, and for the love of God, don’t do it over a text. This could be the beginning or the end, and those should not be done over text.
And do not talk about being stressed out. Way too early for that, and it waves red flags. If you are still feeling that way, then maybe talk with someone more professional that can put your mind to ease.
And breath. You are not hurting anyone and by no means are you trapped.
A third date is a great opportunity to talk about what you’re both looking for in the dating scene, whether that’s something casual, something serious, play it by ear and see how the relationship develops organically, whatever. Just talk to her.