This might not be the place for this but me and this girl have been in somewhat of a relationship for the past 6 months (2 of those being “official). She’s one of the kindest, bubbly and fun people I’ve ever met yet throughout the past month I’ve been feeling like that excitement for her isn’t there. Some days I miss her and want to give her everything and others I have anxiety about having to see her next year and avoid her text messages. That excitement and rush I used to feel when I got a text notification from her or talked to her isn’t there yet I still want to be close to her. I didn’t want an official relationship and I wanted to keep this whole thing between us lowkey since my family is catholic and strongly disproves of Highschool relationships, but she told some of her friends and I agreed to an official relationship despite my concerns since she really wanted one and I just couldn’t refuse. I’m not sure why I feel this way and I want to think everything through before I either make a decision I regret or hurt her since she is very attached due to some issues at home. Any help to clear this up for me or how to possible end the relationship if it comes to thatwould be great.
tl;dr: I can’t tell if I’m loosing feelings with the sweetest person I’ve ever met
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This is the best advice I got from the therapist I saw when I wasn’t sure whether I should end a long-term relationship:
Pick a day and decide to yourself that you’re going to break up. Don’t actually do it, or even tell her you’re thinking about it! Just sit with the feeling throughout the day. What feelings does that bring up for you? Sadness? Relief?
Then, pick another day, and decide that you’re going to stay together. How do you feel? Excited? Trapped?
Since you’ve been going back and forth a lot, maybe pick two or three days for each.
Sometimes that excitement being over thing is normal. You might have heard it referred to it as the “honeymoon phase”. The nervous butterfly feeling kind of mellows out when you’re more comfortable around them.
It sounds like you care for her, but maybe you don’t like her more than as a friend? It’s okay to not be sure yet but don’t stay in a relationship *just* because of what she has going on. It won’t benefit either of you. You’ll be wishing it was over and she’ll be strung along. But again, it’s okay if you’re just not sure yet.
Here’s a test to see how you feel. Let’s say right now I said “Just go for it and break up with her”.
…do you feel disappointed or relieved?