I’m gunna try to explain this as objectively as possible. I’m 26 years old and I am decently good looking. I have had 3 over 1 year long relationships, however we always started dating through mutual activities such as going to the same school.
Often when I go to pick up take out or to a cafe girls will show interest in me. Sometimes it’s even super obvious, for instance once a girl was like “can I get your number, I mean name !” For the order and she was super flustered and blushing because she gave it away that she wanted my phone number. In this situation I still didn’t ask for her number!
I can never ask a girl for her number/if she wants to hang out sometime or whatever
That I want to get to know her when it’s a work setting, but often girls will flirt/smile/show interest in these settings. I honestly don’t know how to do it because I feel like if I get rejected I will just die on the spot. I have been rejected super hard once and it was horrible but I don’t think that’s what’s stopping me, maybe, but I don’t even ask when girls make it SUPER obvious they are into me I just freeze even tho I find them cute too/want to ask them on a date.
Guys who have overcome this fear or ask girls out decently often, HOW? I’ve probably done this legit like only 4 times in my life and 2 of the times it worked out super well but every I’m basically throwing up with anxiety. I don’t know if I’m worried about rejection and being super embarrassed or if I’m worried about how to ask/the right way. I just always freeze up when someone shows interest in me who I just met. People who have overcome this fear or don’t have this fear, please help me any advice would be appreciated.
3 comments
Why not give her your info and a little positive interaction. If you are nervous of rejection, that puts the ball in her court.
you ask them to come along to somthing you want to go to.
I want to go X this weekend or i am grabbing coffee in Y place on friday, would you like to go on a date.
I understand the anxiousness behind your decision to not ask, but you dont get Yes if you never ask.
Obviously you will get no’s, that is life.
Just remember to allow them an escape when talking, so in person dont block them in a corner.
Or send them 5-6 messages asking about it.
If they are interested they will let you know.
2 messages is the MAX you should be attempting to ask someone out, if they say «no, perhaps, maybe or some other time» and they do not give you an alternative.
Then it means NO and you should drop the conversation.
The same rule goes for asking for phone number after a positive interaction.
«Hey i enjoyed our conversation, are you free during the weekend / next week?»
You want them to respond to your action, so we see play back and forth between to parties, and not just a single game where one talks and the other is passive 🙂
Hope that helps a bit!
You suck it up. If you are getting non subtle direct signs a chicks into you, worst case scenario she says no or never texts you. Not the end of the world.
People will judge you a million times more for how you graciously take a no than getting dates with everyone.