I need an outside advise. Just got in a big argument that started from something really small. I just got off work today and went out shopping with the wife. On the way out of the store, she asked me when my mom will buy the dresser that was a gift for us. My mom is not tech savvy and wanted me to do it with her card but it declined and we tried another card and it also declined. I answer the wife the it is not a good time right now to ask due to my dad having covid and my mom is busy at home. She felt that I am starting an argument and brought up the issues she has with my parents. That they did nothing for her etc. My niece and nephew calls her by her name and not by “auntie” and to her that is disrespectful. My parents are not rich and will try to help in other ways instead. Also the issue that I work in a company that they owner do not care for me but I am getting decent salary. She says it is okay for me to leave and get a new job even if it has lower pay but I do not want to do it as she does not have a job right now and we cannot afford it. She is getting some money from her parents and I give her most of my salary to pay for expenses.
Now she is not talking to me and says that once my dad recovers for me to move back home etc. I always just let her win most arguments but with the last one, I sincerely want to know why she feels that way towards my parents. I want both of them to get along. Mind you, my parents have nothing against her.
1 comment
Why didn’t you tell her the truth? Saying my parents cannot afford it right now but will look into it later should be fine.
Not sure why saying “it is not a good time right now to ask due to my dad having covid and my mom is busy at home” would constitute and argument but maybe she could tell you weren’t being honest and/or felt like you weren’t listening to what she said.
I don’t think there’s enough context to understand the dynamic she has with your parents but I think an honest conversation about finances and expectation is necessary.
You’re married, you should be able (and comfortable enough) to have open conversations with your wife.
Also you shouldn’t focus on winning or losing an argument you should focus on improving your communication so you can agree to disagree, reach common ground and compromise.