There’s this guy I see in the park when I walk my dog and I have to avoid him like the plague.
Every time I see him he stops and talks for at least 15/20 minutes. I know this sounds bad, but he’s definitely an alcoholic and he just talks absolute nonsense the whole time. It’s painful to talk to him, and to make matters worse he constantly tries to touch my rescue dog who doesn’t want to be touched. I’ve told him on multiple occasions not to touch him but it’s like it’s his mission to.
The other day I saw him coming towards me down the path and I just turned around and walked back the other way because I just couldn’t be bothered to talk to him.
How can I tell this guy, I don’t want to stand and talk to you for 20 minutes in the morning without being incredibly rude?
28 comments
Wear headphones or pretend to be on a call. He’ll get the hint in the end
I mean, he’s touching your dog without your permission, that’s enough of an excuse to tell him to fuck off.
‘well then id best be off, bye’ or don’t even stop walking in the first place so the whole interaction is ‘hello how are you’ in passing
“I don’t want to be a prick, but I come here for peace and quiet and alone time…can you let me enjoy my walk alone please, thanks”.
By your own admission you don’t want talk to him ever, so who cares about upsetting him?
“I’m really in a hurry today, can’t talk, byeeeee”. Walk off briskly
Start offering him info for local AA meetings.
Don’t break your stride. Just keep walking. Say hi if you want, or don’t. Just don’t stop walking.
Start acting like a fucking lunatic. Wear your trousers on your head, wear socks for gloves, get on all fours and eat grass, shout at the sun. That sort of thing. He’ll start avoiding you pretty soon
I honestly thought you had a dog that rescues people. Such disappointed
Just say hi and keep walking and smile
There are options.
1.Ignore and continue – they either assume you’re deaf or rude but hey you didn’t want to talk to them in the first place so you shouldn’t give a shit. Clearly this won’t work as you have already chatted to him before so…
2. Wear headphones – they don’t need to be on, but its the perfect excuse to pretend like you heard nothing and just carry on.
3. Plan ahead – you see them, you avoid them, whether that be by crossing the road or giving them a wider berth. Just make it hard for them. You have tried it by turning around so you know that works and its not rude.
4, ‘Sorry, don’t have time to chat, gotta be some where’ with a smile – then bugger off as quickly as you can.
1. Big obvious headphones
2. walk by, say hello
3. don’t make eye contact
4. keep walking
This is from experience.
Shit yourself. Gets you out of any situation. You don’t even have to really do it because nobody will question you.
“Sorry mate, can’t stop. I’ve shit myself.”
“I can’t do any overtime later because I’ve shit myself.”
“No mum, I won’t be over for tea later. I’ve shit myself.”
“I’m afraid I haven’t got a clue what speed I was doing, officer, I’ve just shit myself.”
Hand him a Jehovah’s witness pamphlet and say “I can’t stop now but I’d love to spread the word of God to you next time”
Hopefully he’ll avoid you now
He’s the one being rude, really. I’d just say hi and carry on walking. I’d say generally people would get the message after a while but it doesn’t sound like he would, so maybe after a while just say you can’t talk as you’re busy.
Play the crazy card
You: Sorry, he said I can’t talk to you
Annoying guy at park: Who is him?
You: (Proceed to look left at empty space and point and start having convo with yourself).
I just walk off. Can’t be bothered with 99% of the population. Unless they’re asking a genuine question. I know it’s kinda rude but just don’t care anymore.
Fake phone call as you walk past saying hi lol
I recently moved into a new flat. There is a kind of quadrangle around the flats which is actually quite pleasant. Some flats have a private seating area. One of my new neighbors sits out there most of the day chain-smoking. Whenever I go out for any reason he gives me a little wave and seems keen for a bit of small talk. It has now got to the point where I avoid going out if he’s there, and he lives near the bins so I now take them out after dark. No blame on him but it’s a ridiculous situation to be in .
I’m mid 30’s now and begining to think if you want to look after yourself you need to be rude and unapproachable to everyone.
One tip I learned to deal with charity people is to ask them a question before they can ask you – ‘how’s it going today?’ or something – the impulse is to answer the question, by which time you are likely on your way past and can just say ‘great, see you later!’. Works a charm on those guys, though not sure it would work as well on this bloke by the sounds of it.
Just be firm and say no thanks to talking. You don’t owe this guy politeness, you don’t owe him your time. Try it, you’ll feel like a fucking goddess, all empowered and shit.
Mace helps me when I’m in an introverted move.
“Excuse me do you have the… arrghHh mY eyes, YoU Animal!!”
“You too, have a nice day”.
And then leg it.
The British way would be to find a new park, or move house
Have you tried wearing a fake moustache and sun glasses?
Put some on your dog too.
Body language is big in these situations. Put out a hand ✋ and say “can’t stop” and just keep walking.
The hand out ✋ let’s people know on a subconscious level what you are saying, and is reinforced with a very short, subtly dismissive statement.
You aren’t being rude, you’re just being to the point and also truthful – which is the best thing you can be in (almost) any situation.
The key is, don’t stop, just keep walking.
Say you are having financial troubles and ask to borrow £500. Don’t allow the conversation to be about anything else. Just keep saying you really need the money. Next time he comes to you, bring up the £500. In no time he will be the one turning around when he sees you from a distance.
don’t take it too far but in general — stop giving people the kind of consideration that they are unwilling to give to you.
i don’t usually advocate for the making excuses route, i believe that it takes more energy to keep a lie going than it does to just deal with the fallout from the truth. also because reasonable excuses general only work on reasonable people who actually care about being intrusive, and two because it sets conditions on why you can’t so if those conditions are met than logically there are no more obstacles. at that point essentially just negotiating your own surrender.
if you open with something like “i come here for peace and quite” it can leave room for him to counter with “well i come to the park for conversation”, and just keep in mind that often to people like this an argument is still considered conversation.
you may have to be curt in order to make it clear that you do not want this person to approach you. they’ll likely use some kind of passive aggressive guilt to try to wedge that door back open but all you have to do is hold it closed. it’s like an alligators mouth, once open it can crush a wildebeest’s skull but can easily be held closed with just two fingers. it’s easier to just not engage in the first place than it is to try to pull yourself out of the conversation.
don’t stop, don’t engage, don’t respond. it’s cold but spending 20 minutes feigning emotions like you actually give a shit is pretty cold itself, isn’t it.
the last thing i’ll say is try not to dwell too much, try not to ruin your own time there while you try not to have it ruined by others.