Hi all,
I’ve (f31) been seeing this guy (m38) for a few months. Everything was amazing. The conversations, the physical part, the chemistry. He was super affectionate, very communicative, daily good morning messages.
For the past 2 weeks I noticed him pulling back. He seemed more distant, the good morning messages stopped, the messages seemed a bit colder in general.
Wednesday we saw each other, I brought it up. He basically told me that he thinks we like each other a lot and there’s a lot more than just the physical between us, but that it was difficult for him at the moment to combine private and personal due to being a single dad and very limited in terms of time. And him not being able to hold up to my expectations. He asked me to be upfront if I wanted to stop seeing him, but told me again that there was a lot between us and that it was a long time ago he met someone he clicked on every level with – like with me.
It hasn’t gotten better since that. I’m going on vacation today and we were supposed to see each other. He got sick though (he had been feeling sick for the past week) and developed a fever last night. So we cancelled.
I asked him in the morning how he felt, he said he still had fever but that he missed me. I’m not sure anymore if he’s actually sick, but maybe just stringing me along?
I’m at the point where I want to keep seeing him, but I don’t like how the communication has changed and I feel like he’s putting in less effort.
As we won’t see each other for the next 3 weeks there’s 2 options now: Either I pull back, give him space and see what happens while I’m away. Or I let him know again via text that I don’t like how our communication feels at the moment. Not a good thing to say via text though.
What do yous think is the best way to move forward now? Or should I just accept that he might have lost interest?
1 comment
I think you should play it cool here. We’re only taking about a few months. Given that he has a child you have to accept that you will have to come second , at least for now. It might be important for you to do some soul-searching here and ask yourself if you’ve been pushing for more than he’s capable of giving you? It’s understandable that this is an exciting new relationship and that you do want more. But with a child involved, the pace may have to be driven more by him at this point and less by you. It’s fine that you want more. But as far as telling him and making demands for more, you might be pushing harder than he can handle.