Need some straightforward advice – thinking to end relationship

Me and my partner are doing pretty good in general. Love each other very much. There is one burning point though in the relationship which keeps us from taking the next step, which would be to have kids. We both want to have kids. However, my partner has not been able to progress professionally for many different reasons. They insist that if things don’t get better on their professional life (better job/money etc) they don’t feel like having kids.

This has been going on for some years now. I have been patient and supportive trying to help them find something better professionally. Things did not go as planned and this is where the issue arises. We are both at a mature age for settling down and having kids but, as said, my partner is not willing to take that road due to their lack of professional development.

I made it clear to my partner that this cannot go on forever, and I am not willing to keep waiting. I personally don’t believe that having kids should be dependent on the professional success of someone. Ideally yes, it would be great, but if things don’t go as planned that doesn’t mean someone should postpone having kids because of that forever. Just to clarify, we are doing financially ok, it’s not that we can’t afford a child.

My partner’s reaction to this was:

1. They do not want to be financially dependent on me so they need to keep trying to get a better paying job

2. They have no friends of their own, while I do. So they want to have their own circle of friends before having a kid

3. Having a child will decrease their chances of potentially progressing professionally due to time and dedication needed

4. I was called selfish/insensitive/ ignorant for not understanding their position and for not wanting them to do better professionally. That I just think about having a child and nothing else, since career-wise I am doing already pretty well.

5. They feel “forced” by me about having a child.

To sum up, my partner keeps idealizing perfect circumstances for everything happening or to happen in their life and they easily get disappointed because life is just not ideal. They keep procrastinating things due to lack of professional success, whatever that means for everyone. I am more of a realistic person and adjust my expectations accordingly.

I told my partner that, as things are, I don’t want to be the person who stops them from chasing their professional goals and neither the person who pressures them to have a child. I suggested that it’s better to part ways since we are not on the same page regarding having kids and I am not willing to wait indefinitely. They received this as an ultimatum, and while bursting into tears, they said I don’t really love them and I am throwing away the relationship like it doesn’t matter.

Please shed some light here. What would be the best action to take? I am not implying my thought process is perfect or something, but I feel I am being kept “on-hold” until my partner decides it’s time to have kids. We are not very young anymore and this could have implications on pregnancy chances, which could consequently lead to more issues. I understand my partner’s perspective, they are trying to do the best for themselves. Is it selfish though if I am doing the same for my own best?

Apologies for the long post and thank you in advance!

TL;DR Me and partner are not on same page regarding having kids, pushing me to end relationship.