I have been in a relationship for about 1.5 year with this amazing girl i really love. However, a half year ago she spoke about having doubts in our relationship and that maybe we are not the right fit. At first we did not take the doubts very serious as she can be a big overthinker. However, these doubts kept getting worse and worse and impacted our relationship to the point that we decided to give eachother some more space.
Before, we slept together every night, but now we try to get the habit out and focus more on our own lifes. We hope that this will help us getting the realtionship back to the level where we could not resist eachother.
She has told me that I am this amazing guy she doesn’t want to lose and wants to fight for me. However, I know her mind is not very hopeful in being able to save the relationship as a lot of love has been lost and we are not always a good fit mentally.
We decided to change shake up our relationship and make it more fun by going on more dates and hope that this is an improvement.
Next to this problem, I am also not sure if she is totally over her ex. She broke up with her ex (she was in a relationship with him for 3 years) just 3 months before she started dating me and I always allowed her to have contact with here ex because I wanted to trust her. Nevertheless, this contact came to the point that I felt cheated on mentally as she was eventually messaging him more than me. After I noticed this we spoke about it and she told me that maybe she did not process the brakeup good enough and that she maybe moved on to fast. However, she does not want to lose me but can’t seem to understand why she wants to keep getting attention from her ex.
My mind is restless at the moment as I really want the relationship to work, but at the moment the future doesn’t look very bright.
I am in doubt if giving each other more time for ourselfs inside our relationship is a new beginning or if it is the beginning of the end.
Our communication about the issue is very good and we are not shy to share our thoughts with each other. But, we cannot get the negativity out of our head and focus on falling in love again.
I think I need some advice on what to do? I feel like I have tried to push her in loving me again but I now know this is not beneficial.
TL;DR My grilfriend has lost some feelings for me, relationship has gotten boring, contact with ex, still wants to fight for me. How can we get more positivity and improve our relationship? Or is the exit near?
3 comments
I dunno, you shouldn’t have to work hard to fall in love again at only a year and a half in.
It’s not your feelings that need working through. Until she can get over her ex your relationship will never work.
> she does not want to lose me but can’t seem to understand why she wants to keep getting attention from her ex.
Sounds to me like she understands perfectly well what she’s doing and that it upsets you. Maybe you should try telling her that she’s right — considering that her ex seems to be the third party in this relationship, you really don’t see this lasting much longer if things remain unchanged.