How do I make my mom break up with her crazy fucking boyfriend?

42 comments

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2. Honestly it sounds like police need to be involved. Sadly there’s not much you can do if she wants to be with him. I’m sorry you’re going through this.

3. If your mom isn’t getting rid of her BF even after hitting you in the face, she doesn’t sound too wonderful. What you *can* do and should do is report him for domestic abuse.

4. Hitting a child is child abuse. Not dumping your boyfriend because he hit your child is also child abuse.

   Tell your mother if she doesn’t dump her child-abusing boyfriend you’re going to notify your guidance counselor at school and then she can deal with a pending CPS case.

5. Call the police and report him for hitting you, then file charges yourself.

6. You are not safe. Is there anywhere else you can live?

7. Call the cops and keep calling the cops when this guy assaults either of you. Record anything you can to show them. Put him on their radar.

8. Start filming him when he rages. Share the videos with your extended family, hopefully someone will call CPS or come get you out of there.

   You can report to the cops that he punched you. You can make plans to move out of there ASAP.

   You might not be able to save your mom but you can try to save yourself.

9. Try talking to her seriously when he’s not around. She should not be putting you in danger so maybe she needs you to remind her of that.

10. Easy peasy: call the police. Tell them how he hit you and how he hits your mom. Give them details about specific incidents and about people who may have witnessed it. Press charges & get a restraining order. As long as you live with your mom he can’t come near you guys (especially if he’s in jail).

11. You call the police and have him arrested for assault. Press charges and do not back down. It is terrible that your mother puts this lunatic in front of your safety. CPS will get involved too because you are a minor. Your mother needs a major wake up call about this guy. This is probably the only way she will get it.

12. Press charges and call in an abuse report to the child abuse hotline.

13. He hit you in the face so press charges against him and tell them that he also constantly abuses your mother.

14. When the abuse reaches the point that you, the child, are being abused; your mom is willing to sacrifice your safety for her not needing to be alone. You’re not safe with your mom anymore OP. She’s letting this happen to you & you’re much better off leaving to live with s family member or even friend that won’t abuse you. Your mom needs help, but that’s not your job as her child.

15. First of all, call the police on him for hitting you. While he’s gone, talk to your mother and make it clear, it’s him or you. If she lets him back in the house, you’re leaving. She needs to get a protective order to keep him away. She has plenty of proof.

    If she doesn’t agree, then you’re going to have to move out. He’s going to kill her someday and he’ll kill you too if you’re there. It’ll be hard but she’s an adult, you can’t help her if she doesn’t want help. Hopefully, your leaving will jar her into action. I hope she sees where this is headed and stops it.

16. Call the police and report the DV. That’s all you really could do. It’s up to your mother to breakup with him. Is there any family near you that you can stay or move in with? I wish you well.

17. I agree with calling the police. I also think you should call the domestic violence hotline. They can give you resources and help you to get out of that situation. You do not deserve this. Your mom is not protecting you.

18. Is therapy an option? Your mom needs therapy to work her way out of this attachment to abusive men. It’s impossible to make someone break up with someone you disapprove of, if anything it drives them closer together. The only times I’ve seen a woman turn on her psycho bf has been when there’s proof he’s been seeing some stranger who’s younger and prettier than her (sorry for the bluntness). But then there’s no guarantee she won’t go for the same type of asshole bf afterwards.

19. Call the police. Press charges against him. Get ready to move out once you graduated and are 18 years old.

    I had to do the same with my mom and her idiot husbands.

20. I’m so sorry. Call your local womens’ refuge. It’s not just your mom being abused, but you, too. They can help.

21. Get some very secret cameras and stick them around the house to record some of his violent behavior, then put together a video for her. Tell her you love her, and you want better for the both of you. Tell her he treats you like this as well and that he hit you.

    I’m so sorry about this, though.

22. Call the cops the next time he gets violent.

23. If you don’t feel comfortable calling the police, call CPS and tell them that your mother’s boyfriend hits you. CPS’ primary goal is to provide support to keep the family unit intact, so they will not remove you from the home unless she refuses to do what needs to be done to protect you.

24. In addition to the advice others have given and in response to your question, you need to have a hard conversation with your Mom, with the focus being on you and not her. Tell her the bf scares you, and that you don’t feel safe in the home, that you are considering going to a shelter if necessary. Ask her what she will do to help protect you and keep you safe, including creating a safety plan.

    Remember, you can only really control your own behavior and actions. You can’t force your mom to do anything. So draw an emotional map for her and let her follow it to the right conclusion. Sadly lots of abuse victims put their abuser ahead of their children so be prepared for that because it sucks and it hurts.

25. Call the cops and report him for assault.

26. He assaulted you. File a police report. Otherwise, it will only get worse.

27. You should have called the cops on him for hitting you. He is assaulting minors.

28. I’m wondering how wonderful your mom is if she’s staying in abusive relationship thats also abusive towards you. Sound like this isn’t the first one either.

29. You call the police and CPS. He hit you. You press charges.

30. It boggles the mind as to why people are more scared to be alone than being in a very abusive relationship.

31. If the police can’t do anything without your mom pressing charges, then get your guidance counselor at school to do something.

32. Next time, make sure YOU’RE the one to call the police then YOU can press charges.

33. When my mom was getting abused by my stepdad it was the same. The cops would come but she would never follow through with charges. I looked up a lot of info on DV and codependency so I could understand it better. Then I stepped in one night and he hit me. I thanked him for giving me what I needed to be the one pressing charges. He hit the phone out of my hand which was strike two. From there he tried to take the drugs and escape in the family vehicle. By that time I am narrating the incident to 911 and he almost runs my mother over with the car. Due to this 911 even got the helicopters out looking for him. He was eventually arrested and I pressed the charges. My mother hated having to do it but she did divorce him. Felt like victory.

    About a year later we are living on our own in a new town, when I need something from my mom and show up at the restaurant unannounced to find my mom having dinner with him. Turns out she was dating him again. So it was then that decided to move in with my grandparents and avoid the rodeo again. Since then she’s let numerous other boyfriends put her in the hospital.

    It’s beyond sad but my point is that you can do the right things and end up back at the same point. My suggestion to you is to work on moving out. You won’t be able to change anyone but yourself. Best of luck. I’m sorry you and your mother are experiencing this.

34. You’re only 17 so you might get away with it if you murder him and say it was self defense

    (That’s a joke, I don’t condone murder wink wink)

35. ‘ Literally an hour ago he hit me in the face ‘ – report him to the police and get a restraining order. If that doesn’t bring her to her senses nothing will.

36. I was in your same position at 17 except it was my grandpa not my mom’s boyfriend (but she always had shitty ones too). You don’t. You can’t make her leave, press charges, change her mind, see where you’re coming from, or convince her to do anything. You have no ability to change another person’s mind or choices. You also deserve a healthy living environment free from abuse.

37. HE HIT YOU IN THE FACE?! And your mom didn’t kick him out?

    I’d be calling the cops. He assaulted a minor, and is assaulting women. Maybe pressing some charges might show her the direness of the situation.

38. My second cousin was being abused by her step father and no one was helping her in our family, so I called her mom staging myself as social services and told her I would be doing a house check and a welfare check on her children. After that she kicked out her boyfriend, and cleaned the fuck outta her house(she started hoarding) and was posting the kids non stop to show they’re happy. Sometimes it takes a reality check to change peoples minds.

39. Call the police and YOU press charges. He hit you so report that to the police you are under 18 so that’s child abuse.

40. Call the police. He hit you. Press charges. Make him get out of the house.

41. Call the cops. If your mom won’t protect you, they will.

42. He hit YOU in the face. You can call the police and press charges.